England 1982

England
July 1982


Some moments in my life have been luckier than others.  In 1982, I was accepted in to a doctoral program at Penn State to work on a degree in Educational Leadership.  To start my program, I signed up for a summer study course in England: A Cross Cultural Analysis of Educational Systems. For six weeks, I went to a different school everyday to learn about the British educational system.  Then I had the afternoon and evenings to run free.

We spent most of our time in London and stayed at a local college dorm.  We went to plays, pubs, Wimbledon, Harrods, Speakers' Corner, The Henley Regatta and museum.  Then we made our way north to Durham and Scotland where we went to the North Sea, festivals and pub and bagpipe competitions.

My school district paid my tuition and all of my other expensive were written off my taxes because this was an educational expense. It was a great summer. Yup, some moments in life are luckier than others.

The Dali Llama Turns 65 Today

 The Dali Llama Turns 65 Today
Lhasa, Tibet
July 6, 1999


I landed in Lhasa on July 4th, two days before the Dali Llama's birthday and what would be the last day the Chinese government was allowing any westerners in to the country for the next few days.  On this day, we are followed by police. They make no effort to hide this fact. They want to make sure we do not bring any of our western celebration ideas to any of the Tibetans.  Our guide warns us to be extraordinary cautious today about mentioning the Dali Llama. I am so frightened that I want to tape my mouth shut for the day.

Fortunately, we are leaving Lhasa this morning and heading up to the mountains, away from the police and suspicions.  I am relieved to board our dirty bus and move on.

After a few hours on the road, the bus pulls off the road.  We are at the high point of the mountain and as is tradition in Tibet, this point is decorated in prayer flags. We stop to say a prayer.  I use this moment to relieve myself.  I leave the crowd and attempt to find a private spot.  And just as I think I found this spot, an old, Volkswagen Beetle car stops right in front of me.  The door swings open and half a dozen or more people pile out.  They are mostly Tibetans.  But there are two young American women with them.  These women are loud and brash, so Americans.  The Tibetans  respectfully stand in silence and pray.  The Americans, oblivious to the moment, take this opportunity to sing Happy Birthday to the Dali Llama. They sing loudly, off-key and without any regard to the surroundings or the political climate of the day.

We are all caught off-guard by this brashness.  I am angry with them.  They are bringing their egocentric American behaviors with them and they are jeopardizing the safety of their Tibetan friends and me.  I get away from them as quickly as possible.  The Tibetans get back in their car.  And the young women stand there alone, seeming so proud of their ugly brazenness.

What Was I Praying For

What Was I Praying For?
A conversation with my friend

"My father's surgery went as well as can be expected", she tells me.  But she doesn't sound relieved. He is 87 and fragile so this surgery is not the end of his complicated medical problems.

"It's funny", she continues, "this morning I went to church to pray for him and I just couldn't figure out what I was praying for.  Is it time to let him go ? Or do I pray that he makes it through this tough surgery?  And then what?  I don't know what I want for him or me right now."

KF
Philadelphia, PA

American Visual Arts Museum

American Visual Arts Museum

Baltimore, MD

This is one great museum.  They capture the artistic genius of the invisible artists.  Many of them are mentally ill, criminals, loners, poor or unknown. I've been to this museum about five times and I like it more and more, each time.

It's not a big museum but it is one that demands that you explore every aspect of it. Every piece has something to say to me, to you, to the world.  It is filled with the voices of the mentally ill, the prisoners of crime and politics, and the estranged: the silent voices of our societies.

 I wander in with friends and quickly try to lose them so that I can explore each exhibit on my terms, my pace.  But there are so many things that I see that warrant a conversation.  So I will go and find my friends and interrupt them and demand that they see what I see.  And then I want them to go away so I can go back to my self- exploration.   

After a few hours, we meet in the middle of the floor and shake our heads in agreement: we are finished and drained from our over-stimulation of thoughts and judgments and ideas.  It's time to go home.

Apple Classes

Apple Classes
@Apple Store


The classes are free and offered throughout the day.  I've started taking some of these courses but they come at a price.  Class size is limited to just six people but everyone is the class is my age or older.  So every class starts with 5 out of 6 of us apologizing for not being tech savvy enough.  They make excuses and blame their age and faulty memory.  They complain that their arthritic fingers make using the keypad difficult for them as well.  They turn to each of us and ask our forgiveness and I just want to scream.  We are all in these classes not because we know everything but because we don't know enough.

I want to tell them to shut the hell up.  But I don't because it would put a damper on the moment.  Instead, I sit in annoyance at their silly, defensive behaviors.

Boycotting Walmart

Boycotting Walmart
Cecil County, MD
November 2016

Walmart is a corporation that I despise. It pays its employees poorly, does not give them enough benefits, is thoughtless to assigning reasonable hours and really doesn't have much opportunity to advance.  I once read that 80% of their employees are on some sort of public assistance. All of this is going on as their owners and the company earn billions of dollars. So I try to boycott this store as much as possible.  However, that is easier said than done since it is the only department store in my county.  Sometimes there is no avoiding this store.

Last year, there was a huge commotion in the news that Walmart would stay open for Thanksgiving.  The media highlighted that the poorest in the country had to work on this holiday and that Walmart really didn't need to stay open.  It was opened just to add to corporate greed.

I was in the store a few days before hand and as the cashier clerk handed me my receipt, I told her I was sorry she had to work on the holiday.

"Mame, I'm OK to work on Thursday.  I'm just lucky to have a job. It don't bother me. I got bills I have to pay."

Her response flooded me.  I never looked at it from her desperate perspective.

Dog Sledding in Alaska

Dog Sledding In Alaska

A Near Collusion

Willow, Alaska

March 2, 2017

We are on a dogsled in Alaska.  The dogs run through a narrow passageway.  Suddenly, a dog sled approaches us from the opposite way.  They are quickly approaching us and it looks as if we might collide.  Without any instructions from either mushers, the two lead dogs compensate for the crowded course.  Our dog vies to the right and runs alone the slope of the passage and the other dog makes the same compensation and we pass as if we are two trains in the night.

Cat Designer

Cat Designer
Goodwill Super Center
Stauton, VA
February 2017

My sister-in law asked me to join her on a trip to the Goodwill store.  She is a quilter and she likes to go to this store every couple of months and rummage through the clothing, in search of great pieces of potential quitting fabric.

"Only cottons," she tells me as I begin to pull things from the floor bins. I am quickly accumulating a pile of fabrics that draw my attention.  But I don't want to interrupt Cindy every time I find an interesting piece.  So I stuff all of my finds in the corner of one bin.  When we are both finished with our scouting activity, I will bring her over to my corner and show her all of my new found treasures.

But then I go back to my bin and it is gone.  It has been rolled away.  I look around in disbelief and complain to Cindy that all my treasures are gone.

"They rotate these bins every few hours", a man tells me.  "They'll bring out another bin for you in a few minutes.

"But I stashed my things in the corner of that bin. I want that stuff."

"Too bad, it's gone.  I come here all the time and I know, when you see something, grab it before it goes out to the dumpster."

Cindy comes over and tries to console me.  And the chatty man continues, "I make cat clothing.  I design them and everything is made without sewing.  I just cut.  My cats love it.  You know the onesies that babies wear?  They're my best find.  They are great for cat tails."

Cindy makes the mistake of making eye contact with this guy. And I begin to sneak away just as he is telling her about a tuxedo he recently made for his tabby cat. "He loves it.  He loves to wear it." Cindy nods her head in politeness and I move on to the new bin, leaving her to fend for herself in this cruel world of kooks.

Thank You For Coming To China

Thank You For Coming To China
Sias University
Henan Province, China
Spring Semester 2012

I gave my first presentation to my students on Sunday afternoon and when I returned to my apartment, this email was waiting for me:

From: Gloria
Date: Sun, Feb 19, 2012 at 8:22 PM
Subject: Thank you for coming to China to help us!

Dear Bridget,

Welcome to China!

I really appreciate what you have shared with us. Sometime I tend to say "Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak" as an excuse. As I mentioned, heart pounding and body shaking blocked me. But I know where there is a will, there is a way. This time I'm inspired by your words and determined voice-Yes, we can and yes, we will! I can't imagine who I will be 30 or 40 years later, of your age. However, I believe the actions I take today decide my destiny. Strive for a meaningful life! Yes, I can! Yes, I will!

Plus, I've volunteered to express China of my understanding on Wednesday. Hope I can help you to know more about China. Besides, I've got an account at the Linkedin website. Would you like
to add me?

Best regards!
Yours Gloria

He Has My Back

He Has My Back
@ McDonald's
North East, MD
December 2016


As a result of hanging with teenagers for 30 years, I am in the habit of talking to every teenager who enters into my line of vision.  I greet them. I try to engage them in conversation and I often lose sight of the fact that they mostly have no interest in me.  But too bad; I'm talking to them.

So tonight, there are three black boys who look to me to be about middle school age.  It's cold outside and the smallest of the boys is wearing shorts.

"How cold does it have to be before you wear long pants?" I ask him.

"Huh?" he responds. He looks me up and down and gives me a suspicion look.  I've seen this look before. He wants to know why an old, white woman is talking to him.

"Do you put on long pants when it snows?"

"Yea".

"Not me, I am never warm enough.  I wear long pants even in the summer.  It's funny how we can all be so different, isn't it."  My conversation ends because I'm called up to the counter to give my order. I take my cup of coffee and head over to the side counter, "Well, nice talking to you.  Stay warm," I tell him and move on.

He comes over to me and shouts, "Miss, Miss."

"What's up?" I asked him.

"You forgot your change. You forgot your dollar," and he points to the counter where his two friends are standing guard over this singular bill.

"You are a person of integrity", I tell him. "That speaks highly of you.  Thanks for having my back".

Making Beer

About 30 years ago, I attempted to make a small batch of beer.  The end result was pretty lousy so I have been committed to just buying beer, not making it.  So when I found this recipe recently, I had a fleeting moment of considering another attempt at making my own beer.  But when I looked at the ingredients, I again, decided, "nope, just buy the stuff."

White Mountains- Alaska

White Mountains

Alaska

2-28-2017

We took a left on to the main road to Downtown Anchorage. These mountains came in to our sights and we stopped in the middle of the road to take photos.  Little did we know that these mountains are everywhere and we would eventually take hundreds of photos of these magnificent structures.

To read more stories, check out:   bkmemoirs.blogspot.com

 or  bkmemoirs.wordpress.com

Thoughts on Alaska

Thoughts on Alaska
My Trip to see the Iditarod
Feb 27- March 6, 2017

• It's really cold there. And very icy.
• The white, snow covered mountains are gorgeous.
• people bundle up to keep warm and fashion is not a concern.
• Alaskan king crab claws are more expensive in Alaska than they are in Maryland.
• Curling is a strange sport.
• I enjoyed ice fishing more than I had anticipated.  I knew I would like it but I was surprised at how relaxing it was to just sit, fish and chat.
• Dog sledding is thrilling.  It is amazing to see these dogs run like crazy for long periods at a time.
• There is plenty of public parking in Anchorage.  It seemed as if every third business was a public parking lot.
• Reindeer meat hotdogs are sweeter than a regular hot dog.
• I didn't get to see any Northern Lights so this is unfinished business.
• I went to see the Iditirod in Wasilla but the start location was changed at the last minute to Fairbanks. This is more unfinished buisness.
• I had contemplated the idea of participating in the Running of the Reindeers.  After I watched the event, I was glad that I chose to be a specator only.
• The long ride down South #Route 1, along the bay, is beautiful.  It took forever to travel down the road because I stopped so many times to take photos.
  
  

To read more stories, check out:   bkmemoirs.blogspot.com

 or  bkmemoirs.wordpress.com

Coming in Second

Coming In Second
Riverheads Middle School Basketball 
2017 Season
Middlebrook, VA

I was going to VA for the weekend and had planned on a leisurely drive on Friday.  But when I got the text that Clay was playing a basketball game at 6 on Friday night, my plans changed and I made a huge effort to get there to see him play.

"How is your season so far?" I asked him as I jumped out of my car and in to his grandmother's car.  We only had a few minutes for him to get there on time.

"OK," he responded without any enthusiasm.

"What does that mean?" I ask.

"Mostly we lose.  We aren't that good this year.  But I think we will be better next year".

We get to the gym and there is no indication that a game will be played here in the next half hour.  Clay and I draw back the dividing curtain in the middle of the court.  We pull out the bleachers and turn on the lights.  With that, both teams show up and a warm-up practice begins.

The game starts and Clay makes the first basket.  And I am so pleased with myself for making the effort to get here.  The game ends in our favor and I think the losing team and the winning team are equally surprised.  And now, this victory entitles Clay's team to play in Saturday's play-off tournament.  

So on Saturday, he plays two games and his team easily wins these games as well. The boys play with a new confidence and there is a new spring in their stride as they come on the court.  Meanwhile, i am beginning to see myself as a good luck charm.

Since they won on Saturday, they now qualify for the championship game on Sunday.  So I attend my fourth game in less than 40 hours.  We play the team that we played Friday night.  Both teams play with their heart and the game is a nail biter.  We lose but only by a basket.  And no one seems devastated.  I think these boys were just happy to come in second.

To read more stories, check out:   bkmemoirs.blogspot.com

 or  bkmemoirs.wordpress.com

100 Students

100 Students

A High School in China

Henan Province, China

Spring 2012

I visited this school one afternoon in the spring. Because I am American and speak English, I was treated to a celebrity status.  I was allowed to interrupt class and meet with his students. 

This teacher has 100 high school students in his classroom. His students sit amongst all of these books and papers which are shared by another class of 100 students. The students all live at the school and go home for holidays at the wimp of the school administration.  Sometimes the students go to school for six days in a row or 15 days in a row or a month.  And then they have a break and they scatter to all corners of the province.

To read more stories, check out:   bkmemoirs.blogspot.com

 or  bkmemoirs.wordpress.com

Shepherd's Pie

Shepherd’s Pie

Jenkintown High School

1984- 85 School Year

There were only 200 students in this high school and most of them lived within two or three blocks from the school. It was a sweet, little community. To add to this good vibe, we all had a common lunch break. School shut down for an hour from 11:30 to 12:30. During that hour, the building cleared out. The kids could run home to eat or stay at the cafeteria. Most of the kids ran home to eat. Most of the time. There was only one dish that lured all of us to eat in the cafeteria. it was when Mrs. Murphy, one of the cafeteria ladies who happened to be from Ireland, made Shepherd’s Pie.

When she made that pie, the aroma would whiff through the school and everybody was abuzz.

We all whispered in delight “you smell the shepherd’s pie? It’s Shephard’s Pie today.” Everything seemed right with the world when we came to this realization. Whatever plans people had for lunch that day changed immediately. Everybody stayed for the Shepherd’s Pie.

In the beginning of the school year Mrs. Murphy would dish out huge helpings of the pie on our lunch trays. She would pile on fluffy, creamy mash potatoes and we would grateful take our heap of food and find someplace to sit in the overcrowded cafeteria.  No one spoke to anyone.  We just hummed and ate and ate and ate.

As the school year moved along and budgets became tighter and tighter as we move towards end-of-the-year, Mrs. Murphy wasn’t allowed to dish out the shepherd’s pie anymore. Our four spoonsful in September became just two spoonsful in March. And we are all sighed, Mrs. Murphy included, as we accepted our pitiful, reasonable portion of this delightful meal.

Mud Bath

Mud Bath
California
February 2017


I've had a mud bath before and thought that one time would be enough for a life time.  But the opportunity came up again and I thought I would try it again.  And now I think I have had enough mud baths for a life time.

Maybe it was 35 years ago that I had this bath.  I do know that I was much more agile than I am now. And it was a struggle being in that tub years ago.  I wonder why I didn't remember that as I started this bath.

After a quick shower, I was instructed to slide in to the tub that was filled with hot mud.  I stuck my foot in first and then shimmied my way in until I was submerged up to my shoulders.  I don't remember the mud having the consistency or odor of manure.  But it did today and I had to really concentrate on straying away from this ugly thought.

I lingered in the mud for thirty minutes and then it got too hot for me.  So I attempted to hoist myself self up. It was really a struggle to get out from under all of this mud.  I was stuck. I didn't have the strength to pull myself up from all of this resistance.  I indicated to the woman in charge and hoped that she would offer to help or maybe get a crane to pull me out.  But she offered neither solution.

"Just keep trying.  Move your whole body to the front and pull up."  I felt like saying, "What the hell do you think I'm trying to do in this shit hole?"  But I didn't because I still needed her more than she needed me.  So I kept trying and finally, finally, I was able to pull my legs out and let them dangle over the sides.  It was a welcomed relief. And then I was am to sit up on the side and get out of this shit hole.  And then I went home in my journal and wrote "Finished. Never again."