My Neighbors

MY NEIGHBORS

Carpenter's Point, MD

I didn't grow up with an appreciation for nature and now that I am older, that is a regret.  I started noticing birds when I bought my first house at age 43.  The former owners left their bird feeders and all sorts of flying creatures showed up there.  One day, a yellow bird came to the feeder and I thought someone must have lost his canary.  Then another yellow bird and a third bird showed up and I thought some pet store must be short a few canaries on that day.  I later learned that they were gold finches and I later became a very amateur birder.

No, I sit in my backyard, off and on, throughout day and just watch what comes in to my preferable view.  I have lots of neighbors.

Monkey Park- Japan

MONKEY PARK

Osaka, Japan

Spring 1994

I don't remember who told us to go to this park but he said it would be fun.

"It's packed with moneys. They're everywhere and they are so friendly.  You can feed them and they won't bother you", he assured us.

So a few of us went there to be amongst the monkeys.  And he was right, there were hundreds of them and they roamed the park without notice of us, unless, of course, we had food.  Then there was a very high interest in us.

There was one section that had fifty or sixty monkeys just sitting there, not doing much.  For some reason, one of us thought it would be funny if we charged at the monkeys.  We had no intention of hurting them.  We just wanted to see what they would do if we came running towards us.  So Greg gave the command and the rest of us started to run.  The monkeys got up and ran as fast as they could and we laughed as hard as we could.  After a few seconds,they got ahead of us and we stopped to catch our breathe.

The the situation shifted.  The monkeys, in unison, did an about face and charged at us. HOLY SHIT!!!!!!  They were coming right at us. We ran as fast as we could and we didn't stop until we were out of that damn park.

At The Pool

AT THE POOL

Summer 2004

I loved this moment.  My nephew was a nudge all day long.  He was in and out of the pool.  He wanted a snack.  Then he wanted to use the bathroom.  Then he wanted someone to play with him in the pool.  Then he wanted more suntan lotion on his back.  Then he wanted someone to remove the suntan lotion. Then he was splashing us. Then he wanted the inflatable his brother was using. Then he just snuck up on his mother's floatation and snuggled up into her arms and laid there like a sweet. little boy.

Wedding Crashers- Russia

Wedding Crashers

St. Petersburg, Russia

May 2013

We were in Russia for five days.  Because we did not have a visa ($500), we were confined to trips run by travel agents from the Russian government.  We were picked up each morning at our ship.  We were escorted on a tour and then taken back to our ship.  After four days of this confinement, I had had enough.  So I suggested to my three friends that we break free from this routine.

"We can't", Libby stated without reason but with a tone of fear that was loud and clear.

"Yes we can", i responded smugly.  But truthfully, i wasn't as courageous as I was letting on.  I wanted out but I didn't want Russian prison.

To read more stories, check out:   bkmemoirs.blogspot.com

 or  bkmemoirs.wordpress.com

Osaka, Japan

Osaka, Japan

Spring 1994

I am frequently drawn to this photo.  It was taken in the spring of 1994.  We were in Osaka, Japan and it was a beautiful day.  It was warm and sunny.  There was a boy scout parade to honor Buddha so lots of families wandered around and chatted with us as best we could with such distinct language barriers.

A few months later, there was an earthquake in this region. People were killed and homes were destroyed. It must have been a time of great sadness. Such a different moment from my experience.  I wonder if this family suffered from this horrific event?

Northern Europe

NORTHERN EUROPE

Spring 2013

I went to Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Latvia, Russia and Germany in the spring of 2013.  This was properly my 15th trip to Europe.  I discovered that Europe no longer holds my interest.  The trip was nice.  We saw pretty, elaborate buildings for kings and masterpieces stolen from other countries and the food was great (expensive but great). But nothing really grabbed me.  Now I only like to travel to places that make me uncomfortable, that make me examine my thoughts and values.  I only like to go to places that cause me to step up and contribute to the world.

Outfoxed- VA

Outfoxed

Middlebrook, VA
November 2015

"This damn fox was eating my chickens so I thought I'm going to get that thing.  I set a trap right outside the coop and the next morning, there he was all tangled up in that thing.  I'm looking at his damn dead body and I thought to myself, 'You shithead, you ate three of my chickens, I'm taking your tail.  Maybe it will be worth something.' So I released him and dragged him by his good leg up to my wood block and I placed him on top and I just took one whack with my hatchet and the tail came right off.  But then the fox jumped straight up. Turns out he wasn't dead, he was just playing dead.  Now I'm holding his tail and there is blood all over and his foot is all mangled and I didn't know what to do." Just retelling the story sent him in a slight panic.

"Holy shit, " I yelled out, "So then what didi you do."

"I just took the end of my hatchet and I whacked away at that thing until I was sure he was dead."

"Did you skinny the rest of his hide",  I wanted to know.

"No, at this point, I just wanted to get away from him", he confessed. "I was done."

To read more stories, check out:   bkmemoirs.blogspot.com

 or  bkmemoirs.wordpress.com

Quebec- Olde City @ Christmas

Funeral Crashers- South Korea

Funeral Crashers

Seoul, South Korea

April 2008

We weren't paying close attention to what we were doing. We just noticed that a ceremony had started in the Buddhist temple. We wanted to catch a few minutes of what was going on. So we popped in and quickly slid down on the floor and sat with the others. There was a monk who was leading people in prayers which we didn't understand because neither of us spoke any Korean. 

But then Heather, my niece, looked around and started making eye signals to me.  I didn't understand her so she tried to whisper discreetly to me.  I couldn't hear what she was saying.  But then I noticed the monk handed a lit candle to the woman sitting beside me.  She appeared to be crying.  And then I realized what Heather was trying to tell me. We had stepped into a funeral and we were sitting with the bereaved family. That realization was very, very awkward.  Now what do we do? As I looked around, it was so obvious that this faux pas was painful for all of us. Without any conversation, we both stood up, bowed in shame and apology to the family and walked out of the temple backwards.

Pope Phrancis in Philadelphia

Large screens showed his every move and we watched him with an intensity that was exhausting.

The only selfie I was able to get is this photoshopped one.  It will have to do.

 Friday night at rush hour and the streets are empty, waiting and ready to receive the Pope on Saturday.

There he is!!!!!!!

He's an Eagles fan!!!!!!!!

I had tickets to two big events

These nuns and priests came all the way form South America.

To read more stories, check out:   bkmemoirs.blogspot.com

 or  bkmemoirs.wordpress.com

Hospice Care

HOSPICE

Lehigh Valley Hospice Unit

Allentown, PA

December  28, 2015

I spend the afternoon at the hospice center with Charlene.  We have been friends for 20 years and now there are only a few days left. She has been struggling with cancer for almost 5 years and she was determined to beat it but now she is left with no other choice but to go gently into the dark. In a few days, the cancer will win and Charlene will be gone.  So I went to the hospital today to say goodbye.

I had planned on stopping in and only staying for 15 minutes as I thought that would be enough time and then she wouldn’t feel obligated to stay up any longer than she could, just to visit with me.  But Charlene is beyond any capability of visiting with me.  Her breathing is labored, it is difficult to swallow or talk so she doesn’t attempt either.  She falls in and out of sleep.  Some of this is morphine induced. But mostly she is exhausted from this hard work of living.

Her sister sits with her this afternoon.  Her husband just left to go to dialysis and he will then go home to rest and be back in the morning.  Friends have stopped by. Some of them are uncomfortable with how helpless they feel.  Some of the visits are very short.  Others stay about an hour and they leave.

But now that I am here, I don’t want to leave. I can’t walk away.  This will probably be the last time we are together. So I want to stay even though I am probably overstaying my welcome.  I can’t bring myself to move on.

“Stay as long as you like”,  Phyllis, her sister, tells me. “And if you need a moment of privacy to say goodbye, I can go to the lounge and read my book.”

I don’t have any need to say any profound last words. Truthfully, I don’t have anything to say.  But I just really want to hang around. So I do and now I am in conversations with the nurses on what I think needs to be done to assure me that Charlene is not suffering.

“No, “ one of the nurses tells me with a huge smile that sends the vibes that I should shut the fuck up.  This medical professional knows better than me as to what Charlene needs at this point. “She will tell us when she needs a Valium.  We will know.  She will get fidgety and you will see a grimace in her face.  We know.  We do this all of the time.  I know she isn’t speaking anymore.  But her gestures will tell us when she needs more medication.  That’s what I mean when I say she’ll tell us.” And so her words shut me up until the next nurse comes in and again, I start up with my plea to give her more morphine.

A therapist comes in and we aren’t really sure what he wants to do with Charlene. The opportunity to talk about any of her fears is gone now.  She isn’t conversing with anyone anymore.  No, he tells us. He does massage therapy to help reduce any pain or stress.  So we give him a wide circle around the bed and the two of us watch as he puts pressure on Charlene’s skull, neck  and the arches of her feet.  We are told to ask people not to rub her in any way as this irritates her nerves.  I am sorry to hear this as I spent the afternoon, holding her hand and rubbing it in hopes of making any sort of connection with her.  Now, I go out of my way to instruct all future victors on the correct way to soothe Charlene.

She is really thirsty as she can’t swallow. She has an oxygen tube up her nose and she is breathing through her mouth.  A nurse’s aide comes in, full of life and love and swabs her mouth with cold water.  We are given instructions on how to do this and it will bring Charlene so much relief. 

We are also given an orange sorbet and ice chips as yet more alternatives to elevate her dry mouth. She likes the combination of these two rubbed against her upper lip. I feel privileged to help her with this small gesture.

The sun sets tonight at 5 so Phyllis turns on a light over the bed.

“What do you think? Does that light seem to bother her?”

“I know this sounds silly, but it really makes her look sicker, as if that is possible,” I confess. But with the lights on, we can now see shadows along the indentations in her face from all the weight loss.  She looks really old and frail, almost ghostly.

I decide to leave because I just can’t stare at her anymore.  Phyllis hugs me and I tell her how sorry I am for her and she tells me that she is sorry I am losing a friend. I kiss Charlene on the forehead and wander off into the dark, foggy night. I leaving hoping that tonight, Charlene will wander off as well.

POSTSCRIPT: Charlene died two days later.

LET IT SNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

LET IT SNOW,  
LET IT SNOW,  
LET IT SNOWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As an educator, I loved, loved, loved snow days.  They always seemed to come at the exact moment I needed a break from my work routine.  They were small gifts from god.  I loved them when I was working under the teachers’’ contact which mandated that the day had to be made up at the end of the year.  But I didn’t care.  I could handle school in June. It was the cold, bleak snowy February morning that presented itself to me as a challenge every year for 30 years.  So every snow day was a day of great joy.

When I left the teachers’ rank and moved into administration, these days became even more precious to me.  Since I now worked a 12-month contract, these snow days truly were grand moments of joy because it truly was an extra day off for me.

So whenever my phone rand at 530AM, I knew immediately that joyful news awaited me. Yes, it was always the superintendent and yes, I had to listen to his tales of whoa that he had been up for the last two hours and had been driving the streets with the head of the transportation department and yes, the road were treacherous and YES, WE HAVE NO DAMN SCHOOL TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  That is all I needed to hear.  Sometimes I didn’t even wait for him to say goodbye before I hung up and started the phone tree to inform faculty and staff alike that this was one of the most joyful moments of my life.

I would dial that first number and a sleepyhead would answer and I would start right in with my song:

Oh, the weather outside is frightful

But the news I have’s delightful.

We don’t have school today.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!!!!

I Love the Prime Rib

I LOVE PRIME RIB

I am listening to Lewis Black describe a prim rib he is eating for Christmas dinner and he talks with such description of this meal that I can almost see him licking his fingers and the plate.  He loves prime rib. And so do I.  I like it as rare as possible.  I always want the middle cut that is pink and cool.

I also love:

Apples- but they have to be hard, not mushy

Artichokes

Bagels

Bananas

Bean soup

Beer

Blueberries

Breakfast foods: I love to eat breakfast food for dinner

Broccoli

Brussels sprout, grilled please

Butternut squash soup

Cantaloupe

Carrot juice

Cheeses, all kinds

Chicken dumplings

Chickpeas

Chill

Clam chowder

Clams- raw or steamed

Coconut ice cream

Coffee with four creams

Crab bisque soup

Crab legs

Cream brulee

Dragon fruit

Egg foo yong

Fava beans

Fruit slushies

Grape leaves, stuffed with rice and spices

Grilled cheese sandwiches

Grilled vegetables

Ham

Hamburgers with blue cheese, grilled onions and mushrooms

Honeydew melons

Hot dogs on the grill

Hot water with honey, ginger and lemon

Hummus

Lobster- I once worked at a restaurant that offered French fired lobster and it was delicious

Lox and bagels

Mac and cheese, but it has to be baked

Mushrooms

Nectarines

Oysters

Pancakes, particularly pumpkin pancakes

Pasta

Pastrami sandwich

Peaches

Pears

Peking duck

Pizza but it has to be thin crust

Raspberries

Salmon

Satay

Soft pretzels

Steak sandwiches but from Philly only.  All others are 2^nd rate

Sushi

Tacos, but not fish tacos that so many people seem to like nowadays

Teas, all kinds like mint, orange, earl grey, English breakfast, plum 

Tomato bisque

Tomatoes

Tuna fish sandwiches on rye bread

Turkey, especially the day after Thanksgiving