Buddhist Monks- Cambodia

Buddhist Monks
Cambodia
July 2005

Young boys enter the monasteries when they re 8 or 9 years old.  They leave their homes and spend the rest of their lives in mediation and prayer. It is an honor for a family to have a son in these monitories.  To support themselves, they take a few hours each day and roam the streets and beg for money and food.  They walk right up to people and demand a donation.  Families who have little to nothing to spare offer a hand full of rice or tea leaves  or a coin.  Anything is taken but there is no hint of gratitude.

The Apple Store

The Apple Store
Christianna Mall
Delaware
Saturday, February 14, 2008


I have it in my mind that I want an Itouch from the Apple Store.  It's Saturday night, Valentine's Day and I decide that this is a perfect time to go to this store.  Everyone will be out to dinner and I will just run in and get my Itouch and get home within the hour.

I park and make my way through the mall which is mostly empty.  But then I come to the Apple Store and it is packed. It's jam packed as a matter of fact.  I have to take a number and wait for one of the 30 clerks to help me.

I wait and wait and wait as one person after another leaves the store with bundles of packages. I am stunned at all of this commerce in the midst of our recession.  Capitalism is thriving here.

I get my Itouch and stay up all night, fooling with it.  I love it. I am very happy.

The next week  I go to my Women's Investment Club and suggest we but Apple Stock ASAP.

"What research have you done on it's performance?, " one woman asks.

"Nothing.  I don't need to, " I tell her with great confident.  I tell them about my observations on Saturday night.  They agree with me. We bought the stock. And now, nine years later, this stock continues to make me very happy.

Moab National Park, Utah

Moab National Park

Utah

Spring 2007

Spring break, I went with my niece.  She was skeptical of traveling to Utah because she never knew anyone who went here.  But neither did I.  So we went and rented a car and traveled all over the state.  I loved Moab National Park the most.  We went on a jeep ride through and over these rock formations and I thought I was going to throw up from the danger of it.  It was thrilling.

Racially Myopic

Racially Myopic

University of Pennsylvania

Philadelphia PA

Spring 2000

I am attending the conference at the University of Pennsylvania. Like myself, everyone is an educational leader in the public schools around the Philadelphia area. I am standing at the registration desk being given conference materials, directions, and freebies. A woman hands me a conference T-shirt. I don’t want this T-shirt so I handed it back to her.

 “What?  You don’t want this T-shirt?” she asked with a bit of disbelief.

 “No I have enough T-shirts,” I tell her. And that is the truth. I have enough T-shirts to last me a lifetime.

“What about your grandbabies?”, she continues. “When they come over and spend the night, you could let them just sleep in one of these. You don’t have to wear this T-shirt. What about your grandbabies?”.

I’m taking aback by her statement about grandbabies for several reasons but mostly because I’m only 45 years old. I am way too young to be a grandmother. The thought of being a grandmother frightens me. I can’t figure out why she thinks I’m a grandma. Do I look that old? Do I carry myself like an old lady? Do I need to start dying my hair? Why the hell with this woman think that I am grandmother? Then it dawns on me; she is a grandma. She may have other friends her age who are grandmothers. I stand there for a minute and think about our differences. She is moved onto the next person who is happy to receive this T-shirt.

 “See” she says, this woman wants a T-shirt”.

 I tell her she is racially myopic.

 “Girl what you say?” she responded.

I laugh and tell her again, “you are racially myopic. You think everyone our age has grandchildren now. But the fact of the matter is educated, white women don’t start having babies until we are in our early 40s. That means my child would only be about five years old. And I won’t have grandbabies for another 30 to 35 years. So, see, I don’t need your damn T-shirt for my grandbabies”.

I laugh and so does she and so does everybody around us who hears our conversation. It is a moment that causes all of us to reflect on our own myopic views.

Worthless

Worthless
Emergency Rotating Shelter
Cecil County, MD
December 2016

It is the third day I have worked the homeless shelter this week.  Some of the guest are now talking to me a little bit about the realities of their life.  One woman tells me she was hit by a car and received a cash settlement.  She used the money to buy a car for her sister who needed reliable transportation to work.  She also paid for the sister's dental work and dentures.  She quickly went through all of her new found money.  Then she fell on hard times.  She went to her sister for some help but that door was closed on her.

Now she is homeless and still using a walker from her car accident. Mobility is an issue for her. Her son is also homeless.  They come together to the shelter each night and keep each other company.

She tells me she sees her sister every once in a while but there is no love lost between them.  Apparently, the sister's daughter is slipping away from her and may soon be on the streets as well.

"She tell Jeanine, 'Don't be no idiot like your aunt.  You going to be homeless and worthless some day'. I hear her say that and I just turned to her and said 'thank you'. I weren't goin' let her get me upset. I ain't worthless."

Misjudging Me

Misjudging Me
Target
Wilmington, DE
December 2016 


I am returning a piece of electronic equipment at Target's The sales clerk interrupts me and tells me I am including a cord that does not go with the return. 

 "Are you returning this for your grand daughter or daughter or something? Cause this don't go with the ear phones." 

She is referring to the USB cord. Her comment about my family throw me off. 

 "I don't have a daughter or granddaughter so I don't know what that is all about," I tell her.  

Then it dawns on me that she thinks I am too damn old to understand anything about electronics.  She thinks my granddaughter just handled me this package and sent me back to the store with the assignment to get her money back. Now I am going to play with this women a little bit. 

 "For your information, I am tech savvy and this cord does go with these ear phones. Let me show you.  You just think I am too damn old to know this, don't you? You think I don't know what I'm talking about. Admit it."  

She apologizes, we laugh and I get my money back.

Celebrity Status

Celebrity Status

Henan Province, China

Spring 2012

I taught in China for a semester. During that time, I had a little bit of celebrity status as all Americans had in this rural part of China. My students took my photo every single damn day.  I don't know what they are going to do with all of these photos.  I hope by now, most if not all of them are deleted.

Graduation Speech

 Graduation Speech

 Jenkintown high school

 Jenkintown PA

 June 1985

 For one school year, I was the guidance counselor for this sweet school right outside of Philadelphia. There were only 200 students in grades seven through 12. Most of them lived in intact families. Most of them were well adjusted. Most of them liked to come to high school. Most of them liked the teachers and we liked them. This was a pleasant year.

By October I had met with every senior at least once. By December I have met with all the 11^th,10^th and 9th graders as well. With this small group of students, I could spend a lot of time with them and get to know them.

In April, the senior class officers came to see me. They asked if I would give the graduation speech. I was touched but I didn’t want to do it. I wasn’t a public speaker and so this was going to be a very uncomfortable obligation. I wanted to say “no thanks” but I couldn’t because the honor was too great. It was bigger in my fears. I just decided I was going to have to push myself and rise to the occasion.

As graduation day grew nearer I became more and more tense about this commitment. I wrote speech after speech of saccharin vomit. I tried so hard to be profound but I had nothing profound to say. I was only 29, I didn’t have experiences or life lessons that would’ve offered any profound moments. I was going to have to come up with a different approach for my speech.

And then I perused the yearbook. The theme was potpourri. The class saw themselves as a potpourri of personalities, talents, contributions and goodwill. So, I decided to take that theme and make it my speech. With only 40 students in the graduating class I could write a speech that allowed me to mention two positive qualities of every student in that class. I loved writing my speech. It came from my heart and it was so easy. I knew these kids so well that I could come up with something unique for each class member.

The speech was well received. I felt the energy from the crowd which helped me forget about my fear of public speaking. There was a genuine give-and-take as I spoke. What I finished, the crowd cheered, I was relieved and all was well.

After the ceremony, I climbed down from the stage and mingled with the students and their parents. One parent came up to me with a piece of paper which she scribbled a long list of her son’s accomplishments. “You forgot about these”, she told me “you didn’t mention about my son’s role on the basketball team. You forgot that he had a varsity letter. He was also the debate club but you didn’t mention that”. Her tone was condescending. She seemed generally annoyed with. I mentioned to her that I limited myself to two comments per student so that I had time to speak about each student.

 “I know”, she rebutted,” but my son did so much more. He should’ve gotten more time, don’t you agree?”

I was speechless and offended and want to tell her off. But I stopped myself. The moment still felt great to me and I don’t want her to spoil. So instead I just pivoted slightly to the right and begin to address the line of parents which formed to thanking me for recognizing the spirit and genius of their child. This was a great night.

Heading Home

Heading Home

Jamel, Haiti
Summer 2013


Saturday, August 10-  It is 430 AM, departure day, the end of my time in Haiti.  The last six weeks have been great. I can’t really describe my feelings at the moment. I am neither happy nor sad.  I check to make sure the other volunteers are up and ready to go.  Everyone is up, sleepy but up.  We all gather in silence. Our van is waiting to take us to the airport for a 9:30 flight to Miami.  It is dark and the streets are deserted.  It’s hard to see where we are going because there are no street lights and it appears as if our van only has one working head light.  

To add to this mess, I worry about our driver.  He was out until 1:30 AM this morning, dancing in a local club with our young doctors.  He must be exhausted and I am not confident in his ability to get us to the airport safely.  I try to talk to him to keep him company.  But he does not understand English and there is no Creole coming out of me.  I am hoping my mere noise will help to keep him awake.

As the sun begins to peak up over the dusty horizon, the streets take on life.  It is Saturday, Market Day.  People display their meager wares all alone the streets.  Goats, carts and people dodge one another as they scurry to get out of our way as we come barreling through the narrow, rough streets.

We get to the airport in three hours and as we open the doors, we are bombarded by men who want to grab our luggage for us.  We fight them off and say our goodbyes to Max.  He hurries back in to the van, anxious to get this last airport run, of the summer, over.  The van quickly becomes a pinpoint in the distant landscape and all my thoughts are now focused on returning home to my family.