December 2019

December

World Academy for the Future of Women

ULAB- University of libeler Arts, Bangladesh

1- SU- Bangladesh- My first day of teaching.  And it was a home run.  I was nervous and feeling a bit insecure.  This group of students are much more worldly than my other students in China and Nepal. Would my presentations be sophisticated enough for them.  I had them write to me and tell me about themselves.  When they finished, we watched a motivational video about getting your light shine through, even if other people are telling you to shut up, sit back, melt in the background.  Then, as they presented their statements, I had them wear sunglasses because their future is so bring they have to wear shades.  They loved it.  One woman stood up and trembled as she talked about her social anxiety and depression.  She could barely be heard but she got through her message and we all cheered.  I dismissed them at this point because that was enough intensity for one day.  And it was just I'm time because Mrs Islam hunted me down again and came to my classroom to introduce me to her friend from out of town.  This woman used to be very influential with NGOs in Dhaka.  But she retired years ago and was not really interested in help.  Anyway, we stopped by the apartment, picked up Alanna and went to the Islams for dinner and had a fun time.

2- M- Bangladesh- I had another home run in class.  This was with a new group of students and they loved the assignment even more.  I felt great.  After class, Alanna and I went to the Memorial of Independence and the War Museum.  I do not remember anything about the freedom of Bangladesh in 1971 or the bloody massacre of the Prime Minister's family in 1975.  I know nothing about Bangladesh. In the evening, we went to dinner at one of the professors' house.  As I am now seeing, many people have drivers, cooks and other helpers.

3- TU- Bangladesh- I had a good class.

4- W- Bangladesh- I had a 9 AM class and then I didn't have another class until 4:30 PM.  I have to find a way to fill this long day.  I did go to my local Uni-Mart store and get another great cup of coffee.  And now I am FB friends with Sunny, the coffee man.  I found dumplings that I loved.  Then I wandered over to the Sari store and watched woman pick out fabric for saris.  The colors were gorgeous.  My classes were great.  The attendance has slipped but the interactions and commitment are commendable.  I like the vibe here.  Alanna left and so now I have the apartment to myself. I like the solitude.

5- TH- Bangladesh- I had a full day of classes and I really enjoyed myself. We talked about our values.  I had them make a list of 30 values which they struggled to do but they all got there.  Then I had them throw out half of the values.  OMG, it was too damn funny to watch their reactions as they threw out "integrity" "trust" "justice" and other great values.  One stunt moaned, "I throw out family."  my laughing at them didn't make the assignment any easier.  And then when I told them that had to decrease the list again by 50 %, I thought they were going to cry.

I gave out the menstrual cups and they were a big, big hit.  In the fall, I put a notice on Facebook and my friends sent me about 200 cups to bring with me to Bangladesh.  So today, in Open Forum, I introduced the cups and the women turned in to militant feminists on the spot.  They have had ti about with being shamed for having their periods.  I have released monsters today.

6- F- Bangladesh- I have the day off, the only day of the week that I have off and I did nothing, absolutely nothing and it felt great. I wandered the street this afternoon and didn't find much that interested me.  I did find a good coffee shop so I am sure I will be frequenting this place. I listened to podcasts and an audiobook.  I posted on social media and napped.  This is my kind of day.

7- SA- Bangladesh- A day of offering make-up classes.  Getting to class is really an issue for these students.  But when they can get them here, they really work. And they seem tone enjoying themselves.  One student made a video of me as I was teaching.

8- SU- Bangladesh- I went food shopping today.  A man, from the university, came to my apartment, picked me up and walked me to a nearby food store.  He followed me with a cart and explained, as best he could, what everything was.  When we went to the checkout line, he pulled out a credit card and paid for everything.  Then he carried my groceries back to my apartment.  I could get used to this lifestyle. I'm looking forward to trying out my seafood tofu, something wrapped in a breaded casing and a pear the size of a grapefruit.  My class was fun today.  I had them engaged in quick, rotating conversations with all of their classmates.  At the end of class, I asked for feedback and one student told me, "I liked it.  It wasn't boring."  I will take that as a compliment.

9- M- Bangladesh- I had another good class.  I like hanging with these young women. They are full of conviction and passion.  They approach our discussions with a seriousness that is admirable.  We have a co-curricular sign up program going on right now so I spent some of the morning on Campus A with my students. We are giving out the rest of the menstrual cups and they are approaching the task with a determination to change the world, one DIVA cup at a time.  And their hand made poster stated, "Be a DIVA."  In the evening, I went to the movies with my students.  We watched, No Fear, a Bengali movie about a woman who was beaten all her life by her brother and then her husband, but after 2 1/2 hours of movie time, she prevailed and married the man she has always loved.

10- TU- BANGLADESH- I got up at 8 and got ready to be picked up at 8:30 for my (AM class and then realized that it was Tuesday and I didn't have class until 4:30.  I came back up to the apartment, got back in to bed and listened to two hours of podcasts.  And then I leisurely got up, walked to my new, favorite coffee shop.  I meandered over to Campus A to see how registration was going and we were out in full force.  All of the diva cups were distributed.  My 4:30 class started out as a bit of a disappointment.  Only 4 students showed up but eventually, the number got up to 10 and we had great discussion on defining possibilities.  They talked so much, we didn't get through the assignment.  Now I am  a little behind in my lessons.  But who cares, we had a good session.

11- W- Bangladesh- today was a pissy day and i just couldn't shake it off.  When I got to my classroom this morning, no one was there. And I was mad. Then someone showed up after 9.  and then two more and I was thrown off by my annoyance.  Then my student leader resigned.  Then Nadia was barking orders to everyone because she is under a lot of pressure.  Then I found out that Sijad was assigned to take me on my trip to the Pink Palace.

12- TH- Bangladesh- I had a full day of classes and we were making progress until one student discovered that some jerk found our DIVA photos on FB and wrote a scathing post about the horrors of DIVA cups and the prostitutes who use them.  The women here were crushed and cried and their humiliation saddened me.  One student told me that she was not able to tell her mother about this situation and she feared that word of this post would get back to her.  One student cried beaus the language was so awful.  The students refused to translate the post because, "it had too many very bad words."

13- F- Bangladesh- It was my day off so, of course, I slept in late.  And then I wandered the streets until I found a place to have a facial.  And as luck would have it, I found a place that had facials starting at $6.  The price was so low, I thought the price had to be $60.  I'm going back there again and again before I leave.

14- SA- Bangladesh-  I caught a sore throat from one of the students and I feel like shit.  And I took a sleep aid which made me so groggy this morning.  I got to class and only one student showed up.  I was pissed.  By 9:30, there were four students and I was still mad but one of the students asked if I could open my big heart and forgive them.  That bitch melted me right there on the spot.  The day picked up as we wrote a proposal for a new project, Women to Women, a support group for the lowest status of women at the university, the female security guards.  I am anxious to see how this turns out.

15- SU- Bangladesh- it's a beautiful day.  too bad it is so dusting and congested with litter, people and stray dogs.  I met with Nadia and we continue with trying to find a way to meet Jerrie's needs and the University's need.  Attendance is the biggest problem. But I had 24 students in class tonight.  We finished our list of 100 possibilities for their life.

16- M- Bangladesh- It's Victory Day, a national holiday.  I had plans to roam the streets today but I felt so damn awful that I just laid in bed all day.  I have a cold and my whole body ached.  But, on a positive note, I heard from another student whose family is also from Bangladesh and will be here for the holidays so I may get together with them as well. I never knew anyone from Bangladesh and now I have the families of two former students here, visiting while I am.  What are the odds of this happening?  And this is why I down play the lottery.  My high odds are wasted on this shit.

17- TU- Bangladesh- I was walking from one campus to anther and stopped to say hello to one of the administrators.  He told me that I had a family emergency.  Someone from my family tried to call the university, in search of me.  I panicked.  And it was 3:30 AM so I couldn't get them on their cell phones.  But I called Jerrie and she hadn't heard from them.  So there must be some one else in search of me.  Maybe it is the poet from the Embassy in DC.

AN EMAIL:     Dear Bridget,

   I was privy to a WhatsApp group message this morning in which one of your family friends asked our Vice President (      BOT member ) about your contact details. VC was following it up with Prof Imran and Nadia.. Sorry to break the news so dramatically. How all’s well. 

    Best

   Shamsad 

18- W- Bangladesh- I tracked down the mystery call.  It was Nohreen Ahmed's uncle.  He knows someone on the ULAB board and got in contact with me.  I got to talk to Sharon last night.  And I sent texts to Tricia as well.  So the matter is all cleared up.

19- TH- Bangladesh- I woke up to no voice.  I had strained my vocal cords last night but I thought I would be fine after a little rest.  But I was wrong.  I couldn't speak at all this morning.  Trying to teach class was a challenge and the strain made my students nervous.  They kept asking me to stop as the sound was too painful to hear.  And of course, this was my day of 5 classes.  

And we had a guest speaker who was fabulous.  He had the students mesmerized.  I sat and listened to him and listened to their questions and just thought about how lucky I was to be here.  In the midst of the presenter's talk, he mentioned Trump and, again, I felt ashamed.  The whole world is baffled by our poor judgment.

20- F- Bangladesh- Nadia came and got me and we went exploring Old Dhaka today.  It was fun and cold.  I had to wear a coat for the first time since I've been here and I really needed it. Mostly we hopped on and off rickshaws and meandered down narrow alleyways and religious temples.  We spent the day just the way I like it.

21- SA- Bangladesh- It's another dreary day here.  I went to class this morning and every one was sick, coughing, sneezing and miserable.  So I held the 2 hour class and then dismissed everyone and called it a day.

22- SU- Bangladesh- It's the start of my last week of classes.  My time here has flown by.

23- M- Bangladesh-I am sitting in a meeting with a ULAB Board Member and Nadia and a phone call comes in for me.  Nahreen Ahmed's uncle was looking for me.  He had Nohreen's parents who had just flown in from Philly the night before.

24- TU- Bangladesh- we had to dismiss a student from WAFW.  I hated to do it but he was so disturbive and abusive to the female director and Nadia.

25- W- Bangladesh- It's Christmas today and I went to a catholic church for mass.

26- TH- Bangladesh- It's my last teaching day and it was a great day.  After my first session, six of us went to Uni-Mart to have coffee and meet Sunny.  He came over to us and refused to speak in English.  He went on for five minutes about how we had become such good friends. I'm going to miss him. 

We went back to class and the students just hung with me all day.  There was no real start or stop to any class. We just all caught up on work we had to do.  They moved in and out all day and our moments together were just light and pleasant.

We had our last Open Forum: Speaking UP.   Three professional women joined us and they were fantastic.  One of the WAFW students served as the moderator and she was excellent.  The presenters were excited and it was a home run.  

Afterwards, the leadership team went to dinner with me at the Chef's Table.  Again, we saw Sunny and he took lots of photos with us.

 27- F- Bangladesh- my day off.  It rained today, a first.  I had breakfast nearby and then went to a local, high end store but bought nothing.  And then, I went off and had yet another facial. I could get used to these $5 facials.

28- SA- Bangladesh-  I taught make-up classes all day today and students stopped in all day to say goodbye.  I ran over and said goodbye to Sunny. Then I had a farewell party with the group.  They had lots of photos and gifts and speeches and songs, a dance and a cake. Afterwords, two of the young women walked me home and we stopped in at a wedding in the mall.  I took my picture with the bride.

29- SU- Bangladesh- I had no classes today but I had meetings and students stopped by to say good bye again and again.  I had to participate in a video interview and answer silly questions which will then be incorporated in to a more comprehensive video, highlighting all of the facilitators.

30- M- Bangladesh- I leave for home today after a 5 week stay here. I am flat in my affect as I can't wait to return to the comfort of my home and world.  But it's at a cost as I leave these young women who have become so precious to me.

My facebook post: At the airport, heading home; torn between holding on and letting go.

31- TU- Bangladesh, Istanbul, Boston, Philly- home after 35+ hours of travel. I get home just in time to start a new year, 2020.  May it be a good one.