Random Conversations

Random Conversations

• My nephew told me that women not understand that you can never make too much bacon for breakfast.

• My high school assistant principal told me that I would spend too much of my time in the Principal's office if I didn't change my behavior.  Well, I didn't change my behavior but I did serve as a high school principal for 20 years.

• A friend told me she is have a sage ceremony in her friends new house because the previous owner's wife committed suicide in their bedroom.

• In a discussion with a friend, she told me that if I wanted to commit suicide, I should only consider shooting myself as that is the most effective way to die.  She said the other methods were all too risky and I may not be successful.

• My brother told me that he felt as if he was an only child from a large family.  My mother had 6 of us in 7 years and then 11 years later, she had Brian so mostly he grew up alone.

• When my nephew was 13, he told me that his friends, whom I never met, voted me the coolest adult they knew because I played my music loud.

• My sister had to pick me up from the emergency room.  She told me, "Today is the first day that you become a burden to me for the rest of your life."

• I was walking the boardwalk today with my Chinese friend. She had just finished spending a week at the United Nations conference. We met a stranger and I mentioned that my friend was at the UN this week. "My apologies to you for Trump's bad behavior," the stranger offered.

• My friend, Betty, told me, "You are the first rich person I have ever liked. I don't usually like rich people."

• There is a crowd at the entrance at the Women's rest room. Several of us just got off the plane and we had to go. A woman was trying to make her way out of the restroom but she was graciously letting us in. I gestured that she go as I had a backpack on me and I didn't want to bump her. She was younger than me, large and loud. "Mam', you got first," she insisted, "you hasta tinkle."

• My uncle retired as a Colonel in the Marines.  He served three tours of duty.  He recently told me about the first three soldiers he lost.  It was his first day of combat in 1965.  He teared up as he remembered them and told me, "When I die, I want to be bred in Arlington Cemetery and I want to be buried as close to them as possible."

• My friend told me that I am the most interesting person he has ever met.  I told him he had to get out more often and meet more people.

• When I turned 21, my father told me, "always buy the first pitcher of beer in the bar.  No one remembers who bought the rest of the beer all night.  But everyone remembers who bought the first round."

• when I would complain about my aches and pains, my mother would tell me, "If it isn't your ass, it's your elbow."

• My niece was teaching English in South Korea.  I visited her classroom.  One of her young students climbed up on my lab, looked intently at my face and announced to the class, "Teacher, she has sky blue eyes, just like you."

• My friend who has declared bankruptcy told me I was fragile because I saved money.

• My neighbor told me that she lives up to 125% of her earnings because everyone else does so why shouldn't she.

• My friend, from Berlin, Germany, was 18 when the Berlin Wall came down.  Her father asked her where was the once place in the world she wanted to visit.  She told him that she had always dreamt of going to London.  "Pack your bags right now and pack as if you are never come back.  Go to London now."  And she did and to her relief, she was able to return home.

• The first time I was going to China to teach, my German friend told me, "remember to mind your own business, don't talk politics with everyone and only discuss important issues with people you trust and in private.  Learn to just shut up and you will be fine."

• As I was heading to Bangladesh for five weeks, a native of Bangladesh told be to "prepare for a visit of despair and disappointment."

• My niece told her mother and me that when she grows up she "wants breast like Bridget's not like yours."  She got my breast and now she's sorry.

• My eye doctor told me that I was in the early stages of cataracts.  She said I shouldn't have a problem until I'm in my mid-70's.  I told her I wasn't going to worry about them as I would probably be died by then.  She didn't think that was funny.