I’ll spend the day
In my own way
Ray Lamontaine
Singer/songwriter
2016
When I was working, every minute mattered. My job took up a lot of my time and by the
end of the day, I was exhausted when I finally got home. So I did everything I could not to waste any
time. It was too precious.
But now, I’m retired and I have time. I don’t have to rush, although sometimes I do
because I now let so much time slip away from me. I don’t wear a watch anymore and it is hard
to remember what day it is. And then I will
have a memory flash and remember that I have to be somewhere important in ten
minutes and I’m not even dressed yet.
I get up late every day.
When I was working, I had to be at work by 730AM and that was torturous
to me as I am not a morning person. But
I have learned, now that I can get up any damn time I feel like it, that
getting up is torturous, regardless of the hour. Surrendering from my comfortable bed to the
day is an effort each and every day.
Its around 11AM by the time I finally talk myself into
getting up and facing the harsh realities of life. I make a cup of coffee and stumble out to my
hot tub where I open up one side and submerge myself in and turn on all the
jets full blast. That hot water pulsated
against my back and I just close my eyes and love the moment.
There is lots of activity in my backyard. A groundhog scurries past me from time to time. He runs like me: awkward and nervously. He runs from one bush to another and then he
is out of my site. The birds are
plentiful and they scoop down and pick at the grass or flowers and then dart
right in my direction but change course.
Sometimes I think they are going to fly right in to me. So far, they haven’t and let’s hope my luck
continues. The butterflies and moths capture my attention as they go from one
flower to another, looking for something good to eat.
When I get out, I search for my cell phone, not to see who
has called me because I don’t care who’s called me. But I have to check in on Facebook to see
what in the world everyone in the world is doing. I’m connected to 3500 people on social media
and so I have a lot I have to investigate.
I check out my blog and post and repost so that I can stay
in the feed. I compare numbers of
views. I check to see who is looking at
my blog. Mostly people from the USA read
it. But there are people from Germany,
France, India, Tanzania, Japan, China, Russia, Saudi Arabia and 22 other
countries who are sitting around, being bored senseless with my memories.
Eventually I get dressed and I go somewhere. I have to go somewhere every day. I have to see people and connect with them. I’ll
meet someone for lunch or I will run to the grocery store or attend some sort
of meeting for one of my limited obligations.
I say limited because I don’t really want to commit to any
organization. But I do and then I find
myself trying to figure out ways to get away from this obligation.
I take a camera with me and I take photos all day long. This activity seems to irate my friends as it
slows down our pace. Sometimes they make
comments which I just ignore. Sometimes
they call something to my attention so I can grab the shot. I take a lot of photos.
On nice days, I will garden for a little bit. I love my flowers and hate my grass. I may kayak in the North East River which
sits just 20 yards from my house. Or I
may hang on the beach and stare at the water, mesmerized by its beauty.
I go to the library or coffee shops a lot. That’s where I do much of my writing. I also like to go to these places because I can
work at a table/desk with a clean surface.
My house has clutter on every flat surface. But the library lets me spread out and hook
up my chargers and laptop and IPad and any other electronic device I need at my
immediate disposal. I spend a couple of hours there and leave when my shoulders
begin to ache from leaning forward too long.
Some days, I take the whole day and go somewhere and
explore. In the last few months, I’ve
gone off to a Buddhist monastery, a Krishna village, F. Scott Fitzgerald’s
grave site, the Peabody Library and other places that I’ve read about and
caught my attention.
I like to catch up with friends for dinner or a drink. I could go out to dinner seven days a
week. I love to linger at a table and
engage in conversation. I particularly
like to talk with people who have my same views so that I can spew whatever
thoughts I have without worry of judgment or argument.
When I get home, I usually look at the photos I took during
the day. I delete about half before I even
upload them on my computer. I fool
around with Photoshop and then post a few prize photos on Facebook.
I may watch a movie, a DVD.
I don’t stream in my home because I don’t have internet service. I also don’t have TV; I never have had a
TV. It bores me now. And it is even getting more and more
difficult to watch a movie at home as I don’t have the patience to sit in my
home for two hours and do nothing.
I’ll soak in the hot tub again. This time, I’ll bring a beer or tea in with
me. I like to watch the stars. There are lots of stars in my sky and they glisten
with the moon. Bats will fly by and I
have become accustomed to them so they don’t scare me as much.
I read but not as much as I did when I worked. When I was working, I read every night
between 10 and 11 PM. I read 50 pages a day and I read a book a week. I’ve gotten away from reading a little
bit. But I do listen to lots of books on
CDs. I probably listen to a book a week.
Around midnight, I’ll go back to my photos and work on them
again and then I’ll check to see what time it is and discover that its 3 or 4
in the morning. Once I looked up and the
sun was coming up. “Holy shit”, I tell
myself, “I have to get to bed. It’s too
damn late.”
The day ends with me setting an unrealistic time in my head
as to when I should get up. But I usually
ignore this nagging thought because really, I live my life in my own way.
