Mother***er

Motherf***er

Springfield High School

Spring 2006

She charged it into my office anxious to see me. she was looking for my help which surprised me because she often conveyed a disdain for me. with every interaction we had she started first by blatantly accusing me for being a racist.so it surprised me what you wanted my help.

“My bus driver is a racist,” she tells me. “He wouldn’t let me on the bus today cause I’m black. I almost missed the bus. He wouldn’t open the door for me. I had to yell at him”.

“What did you yell at him” I asked?

“I told to open the damn door, to let me in. And I had to kick the door to get his attention.”

“Anything else?”

“No. Finally he opened the door because somebody else came and he let me in”.

“Okay go back to class. let me call the bus drivers office and I’ll speak to his supervisor,” I tell her. “I’ll be in touch with you. in the meantime if you see him again, don’t say anything. don’t create any trouble. we’ll see what we can do.

She seems content with that action and returns to class. She is no sooner gone when the bus driver came through my door.

"I need to talk to you right away. I’m really hurt," he tells me. I’ve never seen this bus driver before so I don’t know if he is a driver who usually gets along with kids or spars with them. I have both types of drivers and I have found that like all relationships both sides can sometimes run on the mouth and create unnecessary problems for all of us. but when the man told me he was hurt it took me by surprise.  In many of these situations I hear anger, lost pride, domination issues but never hurt.

"Come on in," I tell him, "take a seat and tell me what happen today."

"The girl came up to my bus today, At first I didn’t say anything and the door was closed. She kicked  it and shouted 'Open the door you little motherfucker racist.' .  looked down and there was this girl swearing at me".

"What did you do?"

"I told her she had apologize to me."

"Did she?"

"No. She called me a motherfucker again.and I’ll tell you something, that really hurt. My mother is still alive. I would never do that to my mother. I don’t know why that girl thinks that of me".

It takes me a second to comprehend what he’s implying. Then it dawns on me that he actually thinks this 15-year-old girl think he is having sex with his mother.  I almost want to laugh at his naïveté. I know this girl doesn’t think that. I know this girl lives on the offense and works hard to be offensive first and foremost. That’s how she operates in her world.

I tell him that while her language was offensive, it was not an accusation. He seems a bit relieved but still not sure. so I tell him that the three of us will meet and she will convey to him that this is not what she meant. Again I am sure him that I find her behavior to be offensive and inappropriate but not an accusation against his relationship with his mother. He seems a bit relieved and I tell him we will resolve this issue before the end of the day so that he can finish his afternoon run with some peace of mind.

I called the girl back and tell her that I spoke to the bus driver. 

"Did he admit that he wouldn’t open the damn door for me" she asks in a  belligerent tone.

"Yes," I tell her. "yes he did". 

She displays a bit of victory with my confirmation. 

"Yes he told me he wouldn't let you in if you called him a motherfucker. Is that true?"

Now she is a bit embarrassed because she’s been caught. “He just made me so damn mad”.

“So you call him a motherfucker?"

“Yeah, yeah I did that,” she confesses.

"Do you know why he was angry with you?”

“Because he’s a racist”.

No. because he thinks you accused him having sex with his mother.”

"What??  Why does he think that?"  She is baffled.

"Because that’s what you called him. What do you think a mother fucker is but somebody who has sex with his mother. His mother is still alive and he is so offended that he thinks that you think this. He just can’t imagine why you think he would do this to his mother. He was repulsed by your statement. You greatly offended him and it took him a moment to gather his thoughts and act".

"I don’t even know his mother," she mentions.

"He knows that and that’s why he can’t understand why you made such a horrible statement. I have to tell you something. that man is my father’s age. I’ve never heard my father used the F word. That generation just didn’t use that word. My generation uses the F word in anger and to be offensive. Your generation uses it as a noun, a pronoun, verb, an insult, a greeting,  an embellishment. It really doesn’t have much meaning to your generation anymore. And  as  the high school principal here, if I had to choose whether to say this to my father or call the whole school population down and say in front of all of you, I'd say that word in front of you rather and say that to my father. You have deeply offended this man just because he didn’t open the door fast enough for your liking.

The girl doesn’t fight back which is unusual for her. Instead she sits quietly for a few seconds and then says to me "I have to apologize to that man. I didn’t mean to be that offensive".

I can’t believe what I’m hearing. This girl has never been that cooperative. She’s never been that insightful. She has never owned any of her bad behavior. But today she is and so I jump on this moment and call the bus driver over immediately.

He comes in hesitantly and defensively. I put my hand on his arm and ask him to take a seat. I tell him the girl has something to say to him. He interrupts and again conveys that he is hurt and I interrupt him and ask that he just listen. He does and she apologizes and he accept her apology and I am moved by his genuine heart and at long last her sense of empathy.