Lunches With Mannie

Lunches with Mannie

After-Six Formal Wear
Philadelphia
1978-1980

I worked as an assistant to a credit collector for After Six Formal Wear.  It was a dreadful, dreadful job. I hated it.  And who really cares if Mr. Tuxedo is two months late on paying his bill for 100 cummerbunds. 

Anyway, I worked with nice people and we somehow got in the routine of going to lunch every single day.  About 5 of us went out together.  It went from an occasional lunch together to a daily obligation. If one of us had something else to do during this time, the rest of us complained that we were being deserted. 

One Monday morning, I was walking passed the main office phone and it was ringing.  I picked it up.  It was one of Manny's daughter. He had just died this morning from a massive heart attack.  We were devastated. And none of us ever went to lunch again after this day.

1980

1980
Woodbine Avenue

Overbrook

Philadelphia, PA

   And then

State College, PA

My age: 24-25

School: I started a full time graduate program at Penn State University. I was studying to be a high school guidance counselor.  This experience was a boost to my confidence.  I graduated with an eagerness to start my professional career.

Work- I didn’t work this year and lived on very little money.  I borrowed $6000 in student loans. I was really poor.

Music- I listened to top 40 pop music. And disc was creeping in to the air waves

• Call Me - Blondie- I wasn't a fan of hers.
• Another Brick In the Wall - Pink Floyd- I was never a fan of this group.
• Magic - Olivia Newton-John
• Rock With You - Michael Jackson
• Do That to Me One More Time - The Captain and Tennille- OMG, they were dreadful.
• Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Queen
• Funkytown - Lipps, Inc.- no, I didn't like this song.
• It's Still Rock and Roll to Me - Billy Joel
• The Rose - Bette Midler- I loved this song and this movie.
• Escape (The Pina Colada Song) - Rupert Holmes- I hate, hate, hate this song.
• Cruisin' - Smokey Robinson-I really lied him but I didn't like this song too much.
• Little Jeannie - Elton John
• Ride Like the Wind - Cristopher Cross
• Upside Down - Diana Ross- she moved from Motown to disco and I didn't like the transition.
• Still - The Commodores- I thought this group was very soulful.
• Yes I'm Ready - Teri De Sario With K.C.
• Sexy Eyes - Dr. Hook
• Steal Away - Robbie Dupree
• Don't Fall In Love With a Dreamer - Kenny Rogers and Kim Carnes
• Sailing - Christopher Cross
• Longer - Dan Fogelberg
• She's Out of My Life - Michael Jackson
• Fame - Irene Cara
• Fire Lake - Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band- Mr. Rock-n-Roll.
• How Do I Make You - Linda Ronstadt
• One Fine Day - Carole King- she peaked with her Tapestry album.
• You May Be Right - Billy Joel
• Hurt So Bad - Linda Ronstadt- she started sliding form the limelight around now.  She was a huge hit a few years back.
• Off the Wall - Michael Jackson
• Stand By Me - Mickey Gilley 
• Heartbreaker - Pat Benatar- I loved every song on this album.
• Sara - Fleetwood Mac- a lot of songs were coming from this band at this time.
• JoJo - Boz Scaggs- I don't know this song. He had a super album in the early 70's and never matched that success again.
• September Morn - Neil Diamond- he's old fart but I like several of his songs.
• Tusk - Fleetwood Mac
• I Wanna Be Your Lover - Prince- this man could produce hit after hit and he could discover talents in the r people.
• Refugee - Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers
• We Don't Talk Anymore - Cliff Richard- I liked this sad, desperate song.
• Heartache Tonight - The Eagles
• Against the Wind - Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band
• On the Radio - Donna Summer
• Emotional Rescue - The Rolling Stones- I don't like the Stones per se but I do like many of there hits.  This is one of them.
• Romeo's Tune - Steve Forbert- this guy had one sensational album and then he disappeared from the main stage.
• Daydream Believer - Anne Murray- she is squeaky clean but I like a few of her songs.

Movies- on weekends, movies were shown for $1 in one of the auditoriums on campus. Ni alcohol was allowed so we had to sneak it in.

Books- textbooks, textbooks and more textbooks.  I didn't buy most of my books just because they were too damn expensive and I didn't have the money.

Travels- I went nowhere because I didn't have any damn money.  I did get to my parents' house at the beach for a long weekend.

News events

• Ronald Reagan was elected president of the USA.  I voted for Jimmy Carter.
• Mount St. Helen erupts and we all got to watch this magnificent flow of destruction.
• The Rubik’s Cube showed up on the market and frustrated most of us.
• The Iran-Iraq war began in September of 1980 and we are still dealing with the fall-out of this war.
• CNN (Cable News Network) began broadcasting and we would forever be saturated with breaking news.
•  The 3M company begins sales of  Post-It Notes 
• US defeats Soviet Union in ice hockey in the "Miracle on Ice" game.  I didn't watch the game but I  did see the movie about it.
•  John Lennon was shot to death.
• The latest census revealed the US population is 226,504,825.  
•  The Killer Clown ( John Wayne Gacy Jr ) sentenced to death for the murder of 33 boys. He was one sick pup.
• The Winter Olympic Games are held in Lake Placid, New York, United States 
• Zimbabwe, formerly Rhodesia, gained independence but I missed this story.
• There was a failed operation by US to free our hostages in Iran.  That was a big blow to our pride, ego and sense of security.
• Yassar Arafat was elected the President of the Palestinian National Council> I always thought he was creepy.
• Terrorists seized Iran embassy and hostages in London leading to the British SAS storming embassy and releasing hostages.  The Middle East was a war zone for us.
• Japan became the worlds largest auto producing country. Up to this point, we had views any product by Japan tone cheap and of poor quality. 
•  US leads boycott of Moscow Olympics in protest at Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. I felt sorry for our athletes who had to forfeit any chance of winning a gold metal. 
• Everyone tuned into the TV show, Dallas, to learn who shot lead character J.R. Ewing.  I  didn't watch the show.

Family and friends

• My friend's brother was killed in a freak car accident.  He was only 23 and the whole neighborhood cried with his family.
• I became an aunt.  Kathy had a baby boy in December. This was the happiest day of my life.
• I don't have a car so I have to bum rides from friends, hitchhike or take the bus through life.

John Lennon Is Dead

John Lennon is Dead

Brickhouse Bar

State College, PA

December 1980

It is a typical snowy December night in State College. I am working on my Master’s degree and decided to take a break from my studies.  So I am meeting my friend, Deb, at the Brickhouse, a small bar, tucked away in an alley.

The bar is really, really small. When you come in the door, you have to stop and look before you proceed.  The pool table is right there and someone may be taking the winning shot.  So you enter and proceed with caution.  The main room, not much bigger, is to the right.  The bar has a television in the corner. There are about five stools and there may be room for 20 people to stand.  There isn’t much more room than that in this tiny hole in the wall.

Deb and I are sitting at the bar, deep in conversation.  Someone shouts out, “John Lennon is dead. Look”. He grabs everyone’ attention and now we all watch the TV together.  The news commentator repeats this statement and then takes us to a live video of the Dakotas, Lennon’s apartment building in Manhattan.  People are walking around in shock.  Police are trying to control the crowd. And we, at the bar, are mesmerized by the news.  There is complete silence in the bar except for the occasion question from the bartender, “Another one?”  I nod, “Yea, yea” and quickly divert my eyes back to the TV. Sadness permeates the room. We are one with our grief.

I don’t remember how long I stayed at the bar.  But I remember stepping out into the cold, crisp night.  It is snowing heavily now. It is slippery and so unpleasant. My walking is labored and I am so filled with sadness, bewilderment and vulnerability.

Kevin Made Me An Aunt

Kevin Made Me An Aunt
Larchmont, NY
December 29, 1980

She wasn’t due to deliver for another few days so it didn’t occur to me that my sister, Kathy, might not want me to come to visit her at this time. I am off from winter break at college and I have a few days to kill so off I go to New York to hang with Kathy and her husband, Jim, just a few days before the birth of their first child.

It is the week between Christmas and New Years when lots of family come to visit.  Jim’s parents live in the neighborhood, as did most of Jim’s 10 siblings so stopping by for dinner uninvited and unannounced does not seem to be inappropriate to us.  It seems like a friendly, fun idea.  Fortunately for us, several of Jim’s family have the same idea because 17 of us sit down at the table for dinner.

Dinner is going smoothly until Kathy turns to Jim and says “Maybe we should go, I don’t know, what do you think?  They’re coming more frequently and they are more intense.  I don’t know, I think it’s time”. There is a slight panic in her voice.

I tap Jim on the shoulder and Jim turns to me and says, “Kathy didn’t want to tell you because she was afraid you wouldn’t come up.  But she’s been having contractions all day long.  We think it’s just false labor.  It’s too early and the doctor said the first one always takes a little bit more time.  Don’t worry. No big deal.”

He suggests they wait until dessert is served, “We don’t need to rush, ”.  but Mrs. Staudt, his mother, tells him to do what Kathy wants.  She doesn’t quite tell him to shut up but her tone certainly makes that suggestion. So the doctor is called and they take off shortly thereafter.

As he is gathering their coats, Jim assures me, “don’t worry, we won’t be long.  We’ll be back for you.  You stay here.  See you in a little bit.”

An hour passes and no word from them.  Then another hour and Jim finally calls, “Well, I think this may be it.”

Now two more hours pass and one of his brothers calls Jim at the hospital, “No, nothing yet but this is it.  It’s going to be soon.”

Its now midnight and Mrs. Staudt goes up to bed.  She calls down from the top of the stairs. “Someone make sure Bridget had a bed.  I think she will be spending the night.”  Her bedroom door closes.

The brother calls again and Jim has nothing new to report.

It’s 1AM, a work night for some of the dinner guest so most people have gone to bed by this time.  But I can’t even think about sleep.  I want to be awake when the news comes in.  Tonight I am becoming an aunt and I want to know if it is a boy or a girl.

I go in to the kitchen to see who is still up and find that everyone is gone. But these two little girls are still up and helping themselves to treats in the kitchen.  Everyone is in bed and I haven’t secured my bed yet.  So the moment is a bit awkward.  The little girls entertain me for a bit with some puppet shows but then even they wander off to bed.  I am sitting alone in the living room with no one to keep me company or nowhere to go.  So I call the hospital and check in with Jim.  He is a bit more exhausted than the last phone call and a bit more preoccupied and a bit less interested in my excitement.  I decide not to call anymore tonight.  I will just wait for the announcement.  I find a couch and try to get some sleep but that was to no avail.

The phone rings around 5AM and Mrs. Staudt picks up.  “It’s a boy”, she shouts and an immediate joy bombards the house.  Bedroom doors open, people start making their way to the kitchen.  A pot of coffee is put on the burner and we all pick up with our conversations from 5 hours ago.

I want to call my parents in Philadelphia right away.  I make a few attempts but the phone line is busy, busy, busy.  It can only be that the phone is off the hook and I am frustrated, as this news has to be shared right now.  I am bursting with joy and I want to share this moment with my family.

I wait until the reasonable hour of 6AM and call my parents’ next-door neighbors.  I know they would be getting up for work at this time so I don’t think they would mind being part of the festivities.

“Hello Mrs. Dougherty, would I be asking too much of you if you could just run over to my parents’ house and tell them to put the damn phone back on the hook.  I have important news to tell them.”

She already knows what my news will be because she asks, ”boy or girl?”

“All right “, I tell her, “I will tell you but you can’t tell my mother.  I want to tell her.”  She promises she won’t ruin my surprise.

Five minutes later, the phone rings and it is my mother and her sound of her voice brings me to tears. “What did we have”, she wants to know immediately  “and where are you? We are leaving right now to see the baby.”

Jim comes in some time later and he is exhausted and exhilarated.  He is so happy, “everybody did get.  Kathy looks great and the baby is great.  Everything went well.  They’re resting but let’s go over in a few hours.  Wait till you see Kevin”.  Jim has a different air about him at this moment.

Its now 7 hours since his birth and I am watching Kevin in his little bassinette in the nursery.  He is bundled in a blue blanket; just his precious face is visible to the outside world. His head is a perfect shape.  His ears are perfect.  He is sucking on his index finger and I am overwhelmed with joy to be staring at this beautiful child who is only 7 hours old.  And I think to myself, “ I will do everything I can to be a part of this boy’s life.  I will do everything I can to enrich his life.  I love this little boy.”