Shepherd's Pie

Shepherd’s Pie

Jenkintown High School

1984- 85 School Year

There were only 200 students in this high school and most of them lived within two or three blocks from the school. It was a sweet, little community. To add to this good vibe, we all had a common lunch break. School shut down for an hour from 11:30 to 12:30. During that hour, the building cleared out. The kids could run home to eat or stay at the cafeteria. Most of the kids ran home to eat. Most of the time. There was only one dish that lured all of us to eat in the cafeteria. it was when Mrs. Murphy, one of the cafeteria ladies who happened to be from Ireland, made Shepherd’s Pie.

When she made that pie, the aroma would whiff through the school and everybody was abuzz.

We all whispered in delight “you smell the shepherd’s pie? It’s Shephard’s Pie today.” Everything seemed right with the world when we came to this realization. Whatever plans people had for lunch that day changed immediately. Everybody stayed for the Shepherd’s Pie.

In the beginning of the school year Mrs. Murphy would dish out huge helpings of the pie on our lunch trays. She would pile on fluffy, creamy mash potatoes and we would grateful take our heap of food and find someplace to sit in the overcrowded cafeteria.  No one spoke to anyone.  We just hummed and ate and ate and ate.

As the school year moved along and budgets became tighter and tighter as we move towards end-of-the-year, Mrs. Murphy wasn’t allowed to dish out the shepherd’s pie anymore. Our four spoonsful in September became just two spoonsful in March. And we are all sighed, Mrs. Murphy included, as we accepted our pitiful, reasonable portion of this delightful meal.

Graduation Speech

 Graduation Speech

 Jenkintown high school

 Jenkintown PA

 June 1985

 For one school year, I was the guidance counselor for this sweet school right outside of Philadelphia. There were only 200 students in grades seven through 12. Most of them lived in intact families. Most of them were well adjusted. Most of them liked to come to high school. Most of them liked the teachers and we liked them. This was a pleasant year.

By October I had met with every senior at least once. By December I have met with all the 11^th,10^th and 9th graders as well. With this small group of students, I could spend a lot of time with them and get to know them.

In April, the senior class officers came to see me. They asked if I would give the graduation speech. I was touched but I didn’t want to do it. I wasn’t a public speaker and so this was going to be a very uncomfortable obligation. I wanted to say “no thanks” but I couldn’t because the honor was too great. It was bigger in my fears. I just decided I was going to have to push myself and rise to the occasion.

As graduation day grew nearer I became more and more tense about this commitment. I wrote speech after speech of saccharin vomit. I tried so hard to be profound but I had nothing profound to say. I was only 29, I didn’t have experiences or life lessons that would’ve offered any profound moments. I was going to have to come up with a different approach for my speech.

And then I perused the yearbook. The theme was potpourri. The class saw themselves as a potpourri of personalities, talents, contributions and goodwill. So, I decided to take that theme and make it my speech. With only 40 students in the graduating class I could write a speech that allowed me to mention two positive qualities of every student in that class. I loved writing my speech. It came from my heart and it was so easy. I knew these kids so well that I could come up with something unique for each class member.

The speech was well received. I felt the energy from the crowd which helped me forget about my fear of public speaking. There was a genuine give-and-take as I spoke. What I finished, the crowd cheered, I was relieved and all was well.

After the ceremony, I climbed down from the stage and mingled with the students and their parents. One parent came up to me with a piece of paper which she scribbled a long list of her son’s accomplishments. “You forgot about these”, she told me “you didn’t mention about my son’s role on the basketball team. You forgot that he had a varsity letter. He was also the debate club but you didn’t mention that”. Her tone was condescending. She seemed generally annoyed with. I mentioned to her that I limited myself to two comments per student so that I had time to speak about each student.

 “I know”, she rebutted,” but my son did so much more. He should’ve gotten more time, don’t you agree?”

I was speechless and offended and want to tell her off. But I stopped myself. The moment still felt great to me and I don’t want her to spoil. So instead I just pivoted slightly to the right and begin to address the line of parents which formed to thanking me for recognizing the spirit and genius of their child. This was a great night.

Turning 30

Turning 30
July 9, 1985
State College to Williamsport, PA

Thank God I am no longer as foolish as I was when I was thirty.  This approaching birthday seemed to be an affront on my youth.  So I offered a ridiculous statement to combat that affront.  I proclaimed that I could drink 30 beers for my 30th birthday.  Everyone laughed and encouraged me and agreed that I could accomplish this ridiculous feat. And so the self imposed challenge was public and supported.  I no longer had any choice but to drink 30 damn beers for my birthday. My pride wouldn't let me out of this challenge.

I was taking classes at Penn State at the time. Around midnight of my birthday, a few friends drank with me at a local bar.  We drank until 3 AM and I woke up not feeling well.  I met a friend for lunch and I packed away a few beers there. Now I was up to 18 beers, only 12 more to go.

Another friend picked me up at 4PM and drove me to Williamsport to meet a larger group of friends.  Along the way, we stopped at a few bars and Mark had arranged for someone I knew to be there to greet me and drink with me.  We also made one unplanned stop: to pull over so I could throw up which I did, right on some cows hanging by a fence. By the time we got to Williamsport, I was trashed.

We went bar-hopping and again, there was a friendly face in every bar.  We drank and drank and drank.  And then around midnight, we were at the bar at the Holiday Inn.  A band was playing and they had agreed to interrupt thier set so I could give a closing, drunken speech about the virtues of growing older.  I finished my last beer to the cheers of everyone in the bar and then someone drove me home.  I was trashed.

The next day, I did not feel well.  As a matter of fact, I felt like shit.  So I went outside for some fresh air.  Someone, a stranger, greeted me. "Hey, loved your speech last night," he said.  I thanked him as best I could and didn't tell him that I didn't remember giving a speech.  

For my 40th birthday, I played it low-key.

What Else Do You Want To Do?

WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT TO DO???

Long Beach Island, NJ

August 1985

I remember the last time I saw my grandmother, Ida.  It was the end of summer and I was heading back to college.  She was 85 and I was 31.  She was so healthy that she could have lived forever in my opinion.  Her mind was sharp and she was still full of life.  But as I said goodbye to her, the thought crossed my mind that this time might be the last time we would ever see each other.  The same thought must have crossed her mind as well as we held each other just a moment longer than usual and I think, like me, there was a tear in her eye as we finally let go.

“Ida,” I asked her, “is there any thing more you wan to do with your life?  Any thing else left to do?”

“Oh, there are always things to do. But I’d like to take a trip around the world one more time”, she told me without hesitation.  She was a world traveler who never lost her wanderlust.  Then she continued, “And you know, I really want to take a computer course.  I don’t understand computers and I feel as if I am being left behind.  I need to take a class or something.  I don’t want to miss out.”

When I am 85, I can only hope that I will be that full of life.