Estasha Park- Botswana

Estasha Park

Botswana

Thursday, July 12, 2001

I wake up at 6:30 AM and the stars are just as bright as when I went to bed last night. They stay up for another hour and a half. Then the sun slowly melts them away.

I’m up so early because I have a long drive ahead of me today. I am off to Estasha Park, which is a large big-game reserve and campground. Our campsite sits on the edge of a man-made waterhole. A wall surrounds the perimeter of the watering hole which attracts an abundance of wildlife.  Bleachers and stadium lights allow us humans to watch one majestic animal after another wander up to take a drink anytime day or night.

Hundreds of people from the campsite lean on the surrounding wall and look on as animals slowly parade in front of us. There’s an unwritten rule of silence so as to not disturb the animals. However I can cleary hear background noises of barbecues, parties and excitement. As the sun sets, we all anticipate the arrival of the big animals. Everyone wants to see the really big animals. The lion is the biggest draw.

I sit on the bleachers for hours and watch this parade of animals emerge right before my eyes. Everything is quiet around the wall and then there is a buzz. Lions have come to the watering hole. We all scurry to find an open place against the wall. Two female lions are taking water and hundreds of cameras are taking in their every move. Also joining the lions are zebras, springbok, rhinos, elephants and birds.

The elephants are fun to watch. They are clumsy and seem to lose focus. They will move forward, lift a foot and leave it up in the air for a few minutes. It’s almost as if they forgotten why they lifted their foot in the first place. Zebras come in a pack. They walk in from the dark horizon in single file.  They come from nowhere and then they just emerge and they walked to the water hole with great order. When it is time to go, one of them takes the lead and leaves. The others follow right behind. Then they disappear from my view.

There are great birds here.  Plovers swim and skip between the mammals. They’re underfoot of the huge elephants but always seem to get out just in the knick of time before they stumped on. A juvenile springbok comes to the waterhole by itself. It looks too young to be on its own and looks like fair game for any one of its numerous predators. Jackals run around the parameter of the water hole and they seem so small and sneaky compared to the other animals. The rhinos are fat and dull. They stay and drink for a long time but they don’t entertain the crowd. Sometimes they sit so still, I forget they are even there.

I have been watching for hours now. And I could watch for the rest of the night if I weren’t so damn tired but I have to go to bed. I leave the hole at 10:30, begrudgingly. I can barley keep my eyes opened but it pains me to surrender to tiredness.

Waiting to Die- A Cancer Story

Waiting to Die

Las Vegas, NV

June 2015

Charlene asked me to join her in a trip to Las Vegas to see the Cirque du Solei Show “O”.  She has given up on her cancer treatment and started to put together her bucket list.  This show was first on her list. So off we went to Vegas.

She is in a panic and not ready to surrender.  “My parents are still alive.  They’re healthy. They could live for ten more years and I don’t want them to bury me.  No one should bury a child.”  She doesn’t finish the sentence without crying.     

She pauses a bit and starts again.  “And Barry, I really worry about Barry.”  Here husband is diabetic and she takes very good care of him.  He will be lost without her.  “I don’t think he will last much longer after I’m gone.  He needs too much care. And he’s going blind.”

She continues to wander off in her thoughts and I can tell that these sad thoughts occupy all of her attention.

“I don’t know.  I think I have another two years and I should get disability for those two years.  That will take me to 55.  That’s all I want”.  I know exactly why this is so critical; this is a big mile marker in her pension.  If she dies before this point, her husband will receive substantial less, if she dies too soon, there is a big financial burden in the way as well.   

She is now worn out by all of her sadness. “But I’m not bitter”, she tells me with a tone of anger. “I really am not.  And the maddening thing is, the cancer isn’t killing me, it’s the treatment that’s getting me”.           

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Things That Drive Me Crazy

Things that really drives me crazy:

• ·      People who merge too soon on the highway and then get annoyed at me for merging at the very last opportunity;
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• ·      Having to give Christmas gifts to everybody in the office. Nobody really wants a gift from me;
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• ·      People who end their sentences with the preposition;
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• ·      Getting up early in the morning;
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• ·      Stockings and pantyhose-I hate to wear stockings;
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• ·      Christmas carols- I hate every Christmas carols. I hate that we have to listen to them for one whole month. I hate to talk about them;
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• ·      Early morning talk shows- they’re never interesting and they’re never funny;
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• ·      Tipping- this is a stupid way to compensate people for their work. they should just be given a livable wage;
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• ·      Miniature golf- it’s a boring game;
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• ·      Many of my neighbors- they don’t mind their own business;
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• ·      The day after a big snowstorm- I like the first day. I like the fresh snow. Thereafter life is burdensome until it all melts away;
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• ·      People who come knocking at my door uninvited- I don’t answer the door when they knock. I don’t want to talk to them. I’m busy even if I’m not really busy. They just need to go away;
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• ·      All of my socks that no longer have mates- where did that extra sock go? I’m now left with no other recourse but to where miss matched socks all the time;
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• ·      Putting on a bathing suit what it’s still damp- that’s a creepy sensation;
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• ·      Light beer- I hate light beer. I hate when people offer me light beer and tell me it taste good. it taste like crappy water;
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• ·      Paying for electric bills- I know I use electricity but how do I know that my electric bill is really accurate;
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• ·      Junk mail- I hate all the crap that come to my house. Most of the time my mail does not even come into my house. I just throw it out the trashcan;
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• ·       I hate that star buck’s misuses words to describe the sizes of their coffee cups. When I want a small coffee, I don’t want to ask for a grandee coffee;
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• ·      Superficial sales people- they don’t have to like me just because I bought something. Just wrap it up neatly, take my money and send me on my way. I don’t want their glee;
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• ·      Windows 8- I hate it. It’s just different enough that it’s too difficult for me to use and there are times I want to take a hammer to my keyboard but fortunately to date I haven’t done that. I’ve come very close but fortunately not close enough;
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• ·      Sales people who are trying to get me to upgrade my phone- I haven’t learned how to use the phone I currently have.
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• ·      People who celebrate Cincho de Mayo on May 4 or May 6;
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• ·      Waiting at traffic light and there’s nobody at any of the intersections; I’m there alone, just waiting. That’s a waste of time;
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• ·      The annoying nagging of the voice on my GPS when I have made a wrong. Stop telling me to make a U-turn whenever possible;
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• ·      Wearing my eyeglasses all of the time- I have to wear my glasses to see, to hear and now to eat. I’m getting old;
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• ·      Shaving my legs- I wish I had never shaved my legs I’m really not that hairy I probably could’ve gotten away without ever shaving my legs but Now I’m stuck shaving them from time to time;
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• ·      Wearing a bra- I hate wearing a bra. It’s so confining I love that moment at the end of the day when the bra comes off. I feel free at last, free at last free, at last.

March Memories

March Memories

• ·      St Patrick’s Day: the most wonderful holiday of the year.
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• ·      1975- New Orleans Madri Gras
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•      Rita's Water Ice store opens up again and I have six months of refreshing water ice.  On the first day of spring, the water ice is free.
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•       March 15, the heater is shut off.  I don't care how cold it is, I don't use my header after March 15. Four+ months of heating bills is enough for one damn winter.
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• ·      March 24, 1986- Ida, my grandmother died. She had a stroke the week prior.  By the time my mother and uncle got to Florida to intervene, she was alert and fussing about how ridiculous it was hat they came all this way to see her.  “I’m fine, go home to your families,” she told them.  But they stayed for a few days to make sure her treatment was as it should be.  They had a great time and on the day they were to leave, she had another massive stroke and died. She died the way she deserved to die: quickly, painlessly and surrounded by her family.
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• ·      1987- I defended my damn dissertation at Penn State University.

              2017- A trip to Alaska to watch the Iditirod.

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• ·      2008- A few weeks in South Korea to visit with my niece, Heather.
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• ·      March 5, 2005: Sharon called me at 6:00 AM. “Dad’s been rushed to the hospital, he’s passed out”, she tells me ever so sadly. “Stay by your phone, it doesn’t look good.  I’ll call you again when I have more information.” She hung up and I resigned myself to the thought that he died.  An hour later, she calls to confirm my suspicions.  “We are all at the hospital.  Dad is still here with us . We can wait until you get here before we move him.  Do you want to come over right now?”  I tell her “no” and hang up the phone.  I let out a sigh of relief that he died quickly, before the cancer had a chance to eat him up.
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•   March 24, 1928- My dad's birthday

              March 2008- a new car: 2003 Honda Element.  It had 47,000 miles on it which I thought was a lot of miles.  But the dealer told me I could get 250,000 miles on this vehicle. I paid $15,000.

              March 2017- a new car: 2014 Honda Civic. It only had 12,000 miles on it and I paid $15,000.  And my 2003 Honda Element with 244,000 miles was traded in for $1200.

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•      March 26, 2017- I met Jimmy Carter
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•       My garden begins to emerge from the ground, renewing my rebirth after a cold winter.
•       My garden starts to bloom.  The daffodils come first.
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My Neighbors

MY NEIGHBORS

Carpenter's Point, MD

I didn't grow up with an appreciation for nature and now that I am older, that is a regret.  I started noticing birds when I bought my first house at age 43.  The former owners left their bird feeders and all sorts of flying creatures showed up there.  One day, a yellow bird came to the feeder and I thought someone must have lost his canary.  Then another yellow bird and a third bird showed up and I thought some pet store must be short a few canaries on that day.  I later learned that they were gold finches and I later became a very amateur birder.

No, I sit in my backyard, off and on, throughout day and just watch what comes in to my preferable view.  I have lots of neighbors.

Monkey Park- Japan

MONKEY PARK

Osaka, Japan

Spring 1994

I don't remember who told us to go to this park but he said it would be fun.

"It's packed with moneys. They're everywhere and they are so friendly.  You can feed them and they won't bother you", he assured us.

So a few of us went there to be amongst the monkeys.  And he was right, there were hundreds of them and they roamed the park without notice of us, unless, of course, we had food.  Then there was a very high interest in us.

There was one section that had fifty or sixty monkeys just sitting there, not doing much.  For some reason, one of us thought it would be funny if we charged at the monkeys.  We had no intention of hurting them.  We just wanted to see what they would do if we came running towards us.  So Greg gave the command and the rest of us started to run.  The monkeys got up and ran as fast as they could and we laughed as hard as we could.  After a few seconds,they got ahead of us and we stopped to catch our breathe.

The the situation shifted.  The monkeys, in unison, did an about face and charged at us. HOLY SHIT!!!!!!  They were coming right at us. We ran as fast as we could and we didn't stop until we were out of that damn park.

At The Pool

AT THE POOL

Summer 2004

I loved this moment.  My nephew was a nudge all day long.  He was in and out of the pool.  He wanted a snack.  Then he wanted to use the bathroom.  Then he wanted someone to play with him in the pool.  Then he wanted more suntan lotion on his back.  Then he wanted someone to remove the suntan lotion. Then he was splashing us. Then he wanted the inflatable his brother was using. Then he just snuck up on his mother's floatation and snuggled up into her arms and laid there like a sweet. little boy.

Wedding Crashers- Russia

Wedding Crashers

St. Petersburg, Russia

May 2013

We were in Russia for five days.  Because we did not have a visa ($500), we were confined to trips run by travel agents from the Russian government.  We were picked up each morning at our ship.  We were escorted on a tour and then taken back to our ship.  After four days of this confinement, I had had enough.  So I suggested to my three friends that we break free from this routine.

"We can't", Libby stated without reason but with a tone of fear that was loud and clear.

"Yes we can", i responded smugly.  But truthfully, i wasn't as courageous as I was letting on.  I wanted out but I didn't want Russian prison.

To read more stories, check out:   bkmemoirs.blogspot.com

 or  bkmemoirs.wordpress.com

Osaka, Japan

Osaka, Japan

Spring 1994

I am frequently drawn to this photo.  It was taken in the spring of 1994.  We were in Osaka, Japan and it was a beautiful day.  It was warm and sunny.  There was a boy scout parade to honor Buddha so lots of families wandered around and chatted with us as best we could with such distinct language barriers.

A few months later, there was an earthquake in this region. People were killed and homes were destroyed. It must have been a time of great sadness. Such a different moment from my experience.  I wonder if this family suffered from this horrific event?