Waiting to Die
Las Vegas, NV
June 2015
Charlene asked me to join her in a trip to Las Vegas to see
the Cirque du Solei Show “O”. She has
given up on her cancer treatment and started to put together her bucket
list. This show was first on her list.
So off we went to Vegas.
She is in a panic and not ready to surrender. “My parents are still alive. They’re healthy. They could live for ten more
years and I don’t want them to bury me. No
one should bury a child.” She doesn’t
finish the sentence without crying.
She pauses a bit and starts again. “And Barry, I really worry about Barry.” Here husband is diabetic and she takes very
good care of him. He will be lost
without her. “I don’t think he will last
much longer after I’m gone. He needs too
much care. And he’s going blind.”
She continues to wander off in her thoughts and I can tell
that these sad thoughts occupy all of her attention.
“I don’t know. I
think I have another two years and I should get disability for those two
years. That will take me to 55. That’s all I want”. I know exactly why this is so critical; this
is a big mile marker in her pension. If
she dies before this point, her husband will receive substantial less, if she
dies too soon, there is a big financial burden in the way as well.
She is now worn out by all of her sadness. “But I’m not
bitter”, she tells me with a tone of anger. “I really am not. And the maddening thing is, the cancer isn’t
killing me, it’s the treatment that’s getting me”.
To read more stories, check out: bkmemoirs.blogspot.com
or bkmemoirs.wordpress.com
To read more stories, check out: bkmemoirs.blogspot.com
or bkmemoirs.wordpress.com
