July 2021
PA/CO/WY/ID/DE/NJ
1- TH- PA
Tweet: Oh happy day!!! RIP Trump Organization!! #TrumpCrimeFamilyForPrison #TrumpCrimeFamily #TrumpOrganization
Sharon jumped in briefly to our weekly GD zoom meeting. She looked awful and I had to tell her to get off the screen. She looked as if she had a raging migraine headache. It's hard to see what the chemo is doing to her.
I had hoped to go to an evening concert in the park but the rain ended that idea. So I just hung around here and filled out my lengthy questionnaire for my upcoming colonoscopy. Planning for my doctor visits has become my life.
My genetic counseling report: RESULT:
I got my 5000+ steps in.
2- F- PA
I spent the afternoon with Sharon. As I was driving to her house, I fought back tears. I am trying so hard to live in the moment with her rather than in the fear of what is ahead. When I got to her house, I saw her outside, waiting for me and was stunned to see how thin she was. But her face didn't like like it was suffering as much as it was yesterday. I spent two hours with her and by the end, she looked as if she had almost moved on from the effects of this awful treatment.
KT called to say it is going to be between 102-117F all next week in UT. HOLY SHIT; that's hot. So now we are going to head to Wyoming. I am really disappointed.
I got my 5000+ steps in.
3- SA- PA
I had terrible nightmares about murdering people. This is the 2nd night of similar dreams in two weeks. I wonder what is floating around in my subconscious.
We had a thunder storm in the afternoon. I love the sound of a heavy summer rain storm.
4- SU- PA/CO
It's Independence Day and I am off to my yearly trip to Colorado. It's been two years since I've been there because of Covid so it's exciting to get back in to the world of exploring.
Siri and Adrian hosted us for dinner and then we set out to watch fireworks over the horizon of the Rocky Mountains. It was beautiful but buggy. We had to huddle in the car with the windows up.
5- M- CO/WY
And we are off to roam Wyoming for a few days. I'm looking forward to the beauty that Wyoming offers.
6- TU- WY
We went to the Wort Hotel and found a great table in the bar and watched all of the locals, in their cowboy gear, step on to the dance floor and show us all how to do the two-step.
We slept in the car and it was funny. It wasn't uncomfortable but there wasn't much room for the both of us.
7- W- WY
8- TH- WY
9- F- WY
10- SA- WY
11- SU- CO
Today is Deirdre's virtual bridal shower. It was sweet and I was so glad I didn't miss it. The whole wedding celebration has been difficult because of COVID so Deirdre has to reduce her party to just 50 people. That means none of the cousins are coming. But they all showed up for the shower. And the aunts were there and a few of Sharon's friends.
KT, Mike and I went to Wibbey Brewery (4) which serves nothing but lagers. In light of the fact that I always make KT go to breweries that don't interest her, I had to shut up and make an effort to find something that I liked. And I did and I liked the place. It's huge, inside and outside. They have several inflatable pools and people can reserve a pool for the afternoon. I can only imagine what the water must look like at the end of the day.
In the evening, KT, Mike, Adrian, Siri and I went to a Mexican restaurant for dinner. But first, Siri gave us a tour of her new work studio. She joined a group of other wellness care providers. It looks like a great place to visit.
12- M- CO
At 10:35 AM, I had to jump on the Southwest Airlines site and grab my place in line. I was ready to go and clicked right on time. I was instructed to try again which I did immediately and in that short period of time, I was assigned Group B, #47. How could I have gotten such a poor placement?
Afterwards, Mike took us out to brunch at a golf club and then KT and I went off to look at RVs. We both have this fantasy that we will buy an RV of our choice and wander around the world. It's never going to happen for me and it probably won't happen for KT as well. But for almost 2 hours today, a woman took us to one expensive vehicle after another and for a moment, I wanted to run off and roam the country.
We had dinner at Mark and Jessica's house. Since I last saw him, Mark has become a house husband and he seems content.
13- TU- CO/PA
KT dropped me off at the airport which was packed. I was grateful to have TSA as the security lines were long. But I got through OK and found a place fro breakfast. And right after I placed my order, I realized that I was at the Great Divide Brewery. (5) So, of course, I had to order a flight.
Steve picked me at the airport around 5PM and I went home and slept. I don't know why I was tired but I was and I didn't get up for the rest of the night.
14- W- PA
I slept all day. I was a big load. I had no energy. I just didn't feel like doing anything.
I tended to my garden which faired pretty well considering that it didn't have any water for the last nine days. Most of the plants survived and quickly relied themselves after the first watering.
But by late afternoon, I made my way to the DMV to renew my damn driver's license which expired while I was in Wyoming. I thought it might take a painful hour. But I misjudged this dreadful situation. There was a line out the door and an armed security guard at the door. I waited with impatience and when it was time for me to beg to be let in, I was told that I had none of the damn required paperwork: my birth certificate. my original social security card, two pieces of mail that shows my address, and a US passport if I had one. So I got sent away but was told that I could butt in front of the line if I came back tomorrow.
Tweet: Why is telling the truth so hard for republicans? #BidenHarris #TrumpLost
I got my 5000+ steps in today.
15- TH- PA
I was up early today and set out to face a potentially aggravating day. I had to start at LabCorp to get blood drawn. I need this information for my CAT Scan next week. So I had to get here early as I didn't have an appointment. I mentioned to the technician that I needed this information to determine if I still have cancer. There is no part of me that thinks I am going to o need any more treatment but I found myself tearing up as I told her my situation.
From there I went off to the dreaded Department of Motor Vehicles. I fucking hate this place. But today, unlike yesterday, I was prepared and I was there early enough that there was no line. I has in and out of there in 45 minutes.
I ran off to Walmart to pick up a few unnecessary things. And then, I was home by 10:30 AM and I was bewildered as I am not usually up by this time.
I completed my 5000 steps.
16- F- PA
I had yet another reoccurring dream that I had to report back to work to fix some problem. I wonder what these dreams are telling me.
I went to meet my doctor for Genetic Counseling. Blood was drawn for DNA/RNA review. I wonder if anything will come up.
I finally got to the pool this afternoon. The water was a perfect temperature. But everyone there was a stranger. I didn't recognize anyone.
I spoke with Nadia. She has covid even though she has been vaccinated. She had the Delta variant. She said she has only been out once and she caught it from someone at the bank. She sounded exhausted and wouldn't get on the video.
I got my 5000 steps in.
17- SA- PA
I had an MRI this morning to look at my left hip which gives me too much trouble for my liking.
Jaye and I went to see The Road Runner, a movie about Anthony Bourdain. By all appearances, he had the prefect life and the perfect job and got to travel the world but something was terribly wrong inside.
Afterwards, we had dinner at the DuPont Country Club. The dining room was bland and looked like the dining room of a cheap retirement home.
I got my 5000+ steps in.
18- SU- PA
It's Colonoscopy Prep Day.
I went to the Rite Aide, got laxatives, antacids, and electrolyte drinks. I am ready.
4:00 PM- I start with 4 laxatives and wait.
6:00 PM- I consume my first 16 ozs of bowel cleaner.
8:30 PM- I am still waiting for the moment to begin.
4:30 AM- OK, I am exhausted.
Today I consumes 80 ozs of electrolyte beverages, 32 ozs of bowel cleanser, 16 oz of ice tea and 16 ozs of coffee. I am full.
I did not get my 5,000 steps. I probably could have dome them but I was too focused on my prep assignment.
We are at 608,000 Covid deaths in the USA. And the Delta variant is raging amongst the unvaccinated.
19- M- PA
It's Colonoscopy Day. I was up at 7 AM and Steve took me to the doctor and it was over before I knew it. They did find two polyps which will now be examined by a pathologist.
To reward myself and because I was so damn hungry, I went in to town and got a double dip coffee ice cream cone. Now I have an annoying sugar buzz.
20- TU- PA
This morning I had two CatScans. These tests will determine if all of the cancer is gone. And it appears as if it is. However, now I have a problem with my damn pancreases.
21- W- PA/NJ
OMG, I went to the fucking dentist to get two fucking new caps on two teeth that just seemed fine to me and I mentioned a tooth that was concerning me and the dentist declared that i have bone erosion and now I have to see a fucking specialist for that fucking tooth and I had to pay $1008 for today's visit and I have to come back in 10 days.
The radiologist called about my Cat scan results and he is referring me to a oncology specialist.
Late afternoon, I drove to Avalon, NJ to hang with my Brandywine College friends.
22-TH- NJ
Today was a pleasant day. We were all going to leave the beach some time today. Then Kathy made the offer for us to stay one more night and somehow we all assumed the other was staying and we didn't want to miss out on the moment. So we all stayed. Sally and I went out and got beer and wine and we spent the rest of the afternoon in the pool, singing to oldies. I'm sure it was annoying to the neighbors. But I loved every minute of it.
I was able to secure a meeting with a doctor for next Tuesday to talk about the lesion on my pancreases. Turned out this doctor is a surgeon. So I guess a little more surgery in coming my way. I started looking up what may be in store for me but I think I am just going to wait until the doctor gives me options.
Later, we ordered out and got seafood for dinner and sat on the patio and chatted as the sun began to melt away.
23-F-NJ/PA
We were all up and out of the house by 7:15 AM today. Kathy had to go up to Philly to do some "mother of the bride" things so we all mobilized and moved out. I was home before 9:30 AM and I usually am not up anywhere near this time. So I laid down and listened to spooky podcasts.
In the evening, I met up for dinner with Sue, Sloane, James and Aiden. It was fun to hang with them. We went to a Chinese place and over ordered. It was delicious.
I am not getting my steps in as I should but I am eating like a pig. If only this activity burned calories.
24-SA- PA/NJ
I'm sleeping too much. This past week, I have escaped to sleeping and I have to turn this routine around. I went to bed last night around 10 PM, nodded off and on for a few hours and got up at noon. This has to stop.
I caught up with Deb, Lisa and Mary and we went to Lunacy Brewery (6) and Forgotten Boardwalk Brewery (7) in NJ. I liked both places but not enough that I would ever go back.
25- SU- PA
It's a bit of a muggy day and I don't hear anyone in the pool. Where is everyone?
I hung in the lounge and Debbie and Jeff stopped by. The next thing I knew, I got myself invited to celebrate their 4th wedding anniversary with them at the Capital Grill Steakhouse.
26- M- PA/DE
I went to use the copier in the business lounge and of course the two residents who are monopolizing the computers had established their place. One of them left his things all over and then went out to lunch. I had a temper tantrum and lodged a complaint with the management. Let's see if anything changes.
I drove to Bombay Hook in search of the Spoonbills but I couldn't find them. But I did see lots of herons and egrets. So the trip was worth it.
27- TU- PA
I meet with the oncologist at 9:30 with the expectation that I will be in remission for my endometriosis cancer. And then at 11 AM. I meet with a surgeon to discuss what to do about the lesion in my pancreases.
In between meetings, I hung at the coffee shop and watched a man in a wheel chair tumble over on his side and get his foot caught in the chair. Another patient and I struggled to get him untangled but without any success. Fortunately, stronger, more capable people came along and intervened.
I waited two hours to meet with this new oncologist. I know he is busy but that sends a bad vibe to me. He is putting me on a pancreases cancer watch list which means I have to see him every six months to make sure I do not develop pancreases cancer. Now I have two oncologists on my payroll. I am feeling sorry for myself.
Afterwards, I went to dinner at Sharon's house. Elliot, Heather and Peter were there and it was fun and a great distraction. It helped to move me on from my self pity.
Progress Notes
Ned Z. Carp, MD at 7/27/2021 11:00 AM
28- W- PA
I am feeling better about my situation. I have to stay focused on the fact that there is no cancer in my body right now and I have to be diligent to keep it that way.
I went to the movies to see Pig with Nicholas Cage. the movie could have been great but the script was confusing and the filming was shaky. It was just a mediocre film.
I decided to tell Tricia about my situation. I can't find the balance between being rational and being worried about this new development. I thought she was be stoic in her response but I think she is at her wit's end with the bombardment of cancer concerns our family is having. She wanted to call Kathy right away so I told her to go ahead.
Deb Green's mother died. She was 101. I can't get over how conflicted my emotions are right now. I am in a bit of disbelief that she has finally died. It just seemed as if she would last forever. I spoke with Deb and she talked about how she was never friends with her mother but she was loyal to her commitment to be a good daughter. And she was a good daughter.
Twitter: For a party that claims to be pro-life, they really don’t seem to have any concern about children. #vaccinated
#GetVaccinated #CovidIsNotOver
29- TH- PA
Sharon hosted a Great Dames event: Reimagining Friendship. Kathy Flatley and I were asked to participate because of our 59 year old friendship. I was surprised at how moved I was by Kathy's comments. She had obviously given it a lot of thought. I just spoke spontaneously. But Kathy talked at how she would be devastated if I was not part of her life. Then she announced to everyone that she wasn't as good of a friend as she could have been in the mid-80's and for that she was sorry. I didn't know what to say.
kathy, Sharon and Tricia have taken over all my plans and logistics to address this new development in my pancreases. I mentioned an idea I had as to how I wanted to proceed and Kathy told me, "you are not in charge anymore." As so it will be. All of this cancer is taking a toll on all of us.
30- F- PA
I started the day at the rheumatologist for knee injections. I got a steroid, some gel injection and water was removed. The whole process was gross and I almost fainted when I saw them extracting fluid form my knees.
I ran off to Lankenau and grabbed a disc of my Cat Scan and then drove down to Jefferson Hospital to drop the disc off to my new oncologist.
After that, I headed over to Sharon's house to help her eat all the food people are bringing her. She can't keep up with everything people are giving her. So I ate like a pig and then went home.
Twitter: There is no detectible trace of cancer in me as of today. #CancerFree #NoCancer. #Relieved
31- SA- PA
OMG, my knees feel great. I slept through the night and discovered that my knee pain has been playing a part with my sleep problems. When I sleep with my knees straight out, they eventually get fatigued and woke me up. Then I curl up and my knees get sore in this position as well so that wakes me up. But this morning, I got right up and had absolutely no knee pain.
I went down to the courtyard and showed everyone how great my knees were. I sat down, stood up, sat down, stood up again and again and all of this time I had no fucking pain. OMG, I as overjoyed.
So I took a long walk in town to celebrate this new freedom. I stopped Carlino's and bought too much rich food. But too bad, I was celebrating my knees.
Steve and Phyliss asked me to join them for dinner at the Social Club. They wanted to celebrate my cancer news. I had shrimp and grits and it was delicious.
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