FACEBOOK POST
November 4, 2016
I was not able to admit, even to myself, that I was gay until I was well into my 30’s. While most of my family and friends were very supportive, for others it took many years to accept me for who I am (and some relationships just never recovered.) With my own mother, the inability to accept who I am has led to a struggled relationship that has continued for over twenty years. In other parts of my life, it was just too risky to be “out.” When I met Lisa, moved in together and raised our daughter together (the love of both of our lives,) we knew it was a life- long commitment.
Gay marriage became legal across the country in 2015, and Lisa and I were officially married this past summer (twenty years to-the-month after our commitment to each other.) Prior to that, we needed to develop a variety of complicated documents simply to be able to care for each other should something dire happen to either one of us. Things from filing income taxes to potential inheritance taxes were against us. We were not viewed in the United States as a couple, even after being together for so many years. Not fair, but our reality.
With our marriage, we are able to enjoy the civil liberties and securities granted in our society to married couples. June 4, our wedding day, will go down as one the happiest days of our lives, and for many more reasons than is typically so.
Our daily lives are no different than most. We both work really hard (in jobs that advocate for children- yup, another reason to vote for Hilary.) We pay taxes. We have a home in a neighborhood that we love. We raised a child we continue to adore and have dogs that we equally love and drive us crazy. We care for aging parents. Wonderful on some days and crazy on others. Like most everyone I know.
I view this election in a deeply personal manner. I tell you this personal story because my own the civil rights are at risk in this election. I am truly frightened about what might transpire on Tuesday, and what that might mean for us as a married gay couple. I worry about others who are gay, lesbian, bi or trans. I worry about everyone.
As a friend and/or relative, I simply am asking you to spend a moment considering the personal impact of this election on my family and people like us. Please factor this in as you decide how to cast your vote on Tuesday.
For more info (should you want it):
November 4, 2016
- Two Days Before The Presidential Election
- An Intimate Post from my friend Deb and my follow- up post
FROM ME: If you have a few minutes, I hope you will read this post from my friend Debbie Green. Deb and I have been friends for 35 years. In June, she married for the first time and I officiated the wedding. I have been to hundreds of wedding in my lifetime. But this celebration was so different from all the others. The feelings of joy, relief, excitement and solace permeated the celebration. And as Deb and Lisa said, "I Do", we cheered for our friends who could now live a more authentic life. AT LAST!!!!
We all deserve civil rights and we can not go backwards on this right.
And friends, if you are so inclined, please share this post. I know it was hard for Deb to write because I saw her struggle for the last 35 years. I'm proud of her for being so honest and public about her private life.
Deb's post and plea right before the election:
This post is for family and friends who are planning to vote for Donald Trump. This is an election that will have a deep and personal impact on me and those I love. For those who know me well, you know this is something that I rarely ever do. Telling my own story is not comfortable for me. Yet I am SO FRIGHTENED by the potential results of this election that I am willing to take the risk, following the lead of Facebook friends who bravely led the way in sharing their own stories (I’ve even borrowed some of their own descriptive language.)
I was not able to admit, even to myself, that I was gay until I was well into my 30’s. While most of my family and friends were very supportive, for others it took many years to accept me for who I am (and some relationships just never recovered.) With my own mother, the inability to accept who I am has led to a struggled relationship that has continued for over twenty years. In other parts of my life, it was just too risky to be “out.” When I met Lisa, moved in together and raised our daughter together (the love of both of our lives,) we knew it was a life- long commitment.
Gay marriage became legal across the country in 2015, and Lisa and I were officially married this past summer (twenty years to-the-month after our commitment to each other.) Prior to that, we needed to develop a variety of complicated documents simply to be able to care for each other should something dire happen to either one of us. Things from filing income taxes to potential inheritance taxes were against us. We were not viewed in the United States as a couple, even after being together for so many years. Not fair, but our reality.
With our marriage, we are able to enjoy the civil liberties and securities granted in our society to married couples. June 4, our wedding day, will go down as one the happiest days of our lives, and for many more reasons than is typically so.
Our daily lives are no different than most. We both work really hard (in jobs that advocate for children- yup, another reason to vote for Hilary.) We pay taxes. We have a home in a neighborhood that we love. We raised a child we continue to adore and have dogs that we equally love and drive us crazy. We care for aging parents. Wonderful on some days and crazy on others. Like most everyone I know.
I view this election in a deeply personal manner. I tell you this personal story because my own the civil rights are at risk in this election. I am truly frightened about what might transpire on Tuesday, and what that might mean for us as a married gay couple. I worry about others who are gay, lesbian, bi or trans. I worry about everyone.
As a friend and/or relative, I simply am asking you to spend a moment considering the personal impact of this election on my family and people like us. Please factor this in as you decide how to cast your vote on Tuesday.
For more info (should you want it):
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