Goodbye Debbie
Bala Cynwyd, PA
August 2016
About 35 years ago Debbie married my cousin, Larry. Over the
course of that time maybe I saw Debbie 15 or 20 times mostly at weddings and
showers and funerals and occasionally at family reunion. We always met when was
it too hard to have a long conversation. We had brief, pleasant interactions but
not much more than that. About five years ago, Larry came to a family reunion
alone. He didn’t mention Debbie. None of us asked about her. And when his
Christmas cards came out that year, she wasn’t included in the signature line.
His Facebook account indicated that his relationship status was complicated. We
didn’t ask him about his status. We just made assumptions at the marriage was
over and he didn’t want to talk about it. So we didn’t.
Larry died suddenly last week. He didn’t report for work one
morning so his boss called him at home. He didn’t pick up the phone. So his
boss called the police. They found him dead at his computer. They think it was
an asthma attack. But we’ll never know for sure.
His sisters just had a funeral for him. Debbie showed up.
She was filled with sorrow and we are also glad to see her as she was on
everybody’s mind. We didn’t know how she currently felt about him. But we did
know they have some happy years during this 30 years of marriage.
I hugged her and told this must be a very confusing time for
her. She said it was. That she cried and cried and cried. “I just had dinner
with him on Tuesday and we’re working towards something. I don’t know. A reconciliation”. She must have been filled with regrets and I
felt so sorry for her.
When it was time to leave I sought her out. “Bye Debbie,” I
said to her, “I hope you get over your sorrow”. She nodded and thank me. “Me
too,” she said ever so tearfully. Then she shrugged her shoulders, looking for
something else to say “and enjoy all your travels. Good luck to you”.
