Things I Will Have to Give Up

Things I Will Have to Give Up When I Move

Carpenter's Point, Md to West Chester, Pa

Summer 2017

In 2012, I sold my large home and moved in to my smaller, second home.  I had to downsize as I was leaving a four-bedroom house and moving in to an already furnished two-bedroom house.  But I did have a shed in my yard which allowed me to store too much stuff.  Now I am going to downsize again and this time, I am going to move in to a one bedroom apartment.  I am excited about the idea of never shoveling the snow again or never cutting the lawn.  I can’t wait to call management when there is a plumbing problem.  I look forward to closing my door and going on a trip and not worrying about my house.

But this afternoon, I stood in my yard and looked at all the things I will never use again.  A melancholy came over me as I realized what I was giving up. I will miss my yard and garden and the birds and the bugs and my groundhog.

This stuff is not coming with me:

• ·      Garden hoses- 4 of them in various lengths
• ·      Orange electrical cords- I think I have a mile’s length of cords
• ·      Lawn chairs- 3 but maybe I can put them on my new porch
• ·      Shovels- two for snow, three for the garden
• ·      Lawn mower
• ·      Clippers- 2 large and one small
• ·      Electric chain saw pole
• ·      Barbeque grill- 3 charcoal, one propane
• ·      Wooden burning stove equipment
• ·      Hot tub
• ·      Market umbrellas
• ·      Large floatation chairs
• ·      Smaller flotations- 3
• ·      Camp chairs- maybe 10
• ·      Weed whacker
• ·      Camping equipment- tent, sleeping bag,
• ·      Clay pots- about 25
• ·      Gardening tools
• ·      Coolers- I have three of them in various sizes
• ·      The day lilies
• ·      The Asian lilies
• ·      The lilac bush
• ·      The magnolia tree
• ·      The crabapple tree
• ·      The Crape Myrtle trees; I have three white ones and a red one.
• ·      The three purple bearded Iris plants
• ·      The Rose of Sharon plants that have invaded my garden
• ·      The yellow and white daisies
• ·      The ducks
• ·      The herons
• ·      The ospreys
• ·      The bald eagles
• ·      The butterflies and moths
• ·      The multitude of bugs
• ·      The beach at the end of my street
• ·      The North East River
• ·      All my camping equipment- I am never going to use that stuff again
• ·      Kayaking and all its equipment
• ·      My fire pit.  I have a fire most nights.
• ·      The rakes
• ·      The shovels
• ·      Garden gloves
• ·      Bags of ice melt
• ·      Bottles of weed killer

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My Commandments

My Commandments

I am not much of a rule follower.  But there are a few things I do hold to be worthy of everyone's attention.  Here they are:
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1- "Honor thy mother and father" from the other 10 Commandments

2- "Thou shall not kill."- same

3- "Thou shall not steal."- same

4- "When you leave one room and go in another room, turn off the damn light."- my father a former PA Public Utility Commissioner

5- "Never stand when you can sit; never sit when you can lay down."- Mr Flatley, 1976; a family friend

6- "When you are telling a story, tell a story.  When you are telling the truth, tell the truth and know the difference between the two."- an old, Irish saying

7- "When you go to a bar with friends, always buy the first round.  People only remember who bought the first round." - my father, 1975, as I was turning 21 and of legal age to drink in the bars.

8- "Life is suffering.  You can change your suffering by changing your thinking."- Buddha

9- "Continue to grow and evolve.”- Ghandi

10- "Love one another."- John, the Apostle

11- "Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do fro your country."  John F. Kennedy

12- Don't be a pain in the ass.

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Believing In Jesus

Believing In Jesus
A Conversation with an Acquaintance
Elkton, MD

We were talking about religion and how we came to our views and tolerance of different religions. But then she moved to a discussion on Christianity.


"Of course I believe in Jesus.  I'm a Christian.  I mean, He has to be real.  They have TV shows about Him on the History Channel and shit.  Right?  He has to be real or they wouldn't have those shows. Right?"

Ann
April 2014

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At the Dry Cleaners

At the Dry Cleaners

Bryn Mawr, PA

1998

I am at the dry cleaner’s store, leaning against the counter and talking to the clerk.  She is tagging my clothing and mumbling something.

“Sorry, I didn’t hear that”, I tell her.

“Oh, I was just talking to myself about that man out there.”

I turn around and look and it is my father, in the parking lot, getting out of his car and gathering his dirty laundry.

She continues, “That’s Mr. Kelly.  He comes here a lot and he’s really a nice man.  He always says hello to me.”

My father comes in and greets both of us. He sees me and comes over to give me a kiss, “hello sweet girl”, he says.

The clerk looks surprised and my father responses to her look, “This is my daughter.”

And then I wonder if I should have told her right away that he was my dad. But even more so, I wonder if I should have told my dad what she said about him.  I didn’t do that either and I still regret it. I should have told him that I was proud of him.

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Bombarded

Bombarded
Route 95 South
Wilmington, DE
April 9, 2016


I am driving on Route 95S, going about 65 miles an hour.  I am in the middle lane and something loud zips pass me.  It is a guy on a motorcycle.  He must have been traveling at 90 miles or more because he just came out of nowhere and quickly passed me.  And then another bike passed me and another and another and another.  I didn't see any of them coming up behind me. It was unnerving and I wanted to move over but was too afraid to change lanes for fear that one of them might try to pass me on the right.  So I held my position.  A few seconds later, two more bikes ripped pass me.  Then there was a deafening silence. I couldn't relax until I saw them all take the next exit and I was now confident to move over to the old lady, slow lane.

Paris

Paris
France

I've been to Paris a few times and I don't like Paris.  I know everyone loves Paris.  But not me. I just can't warm up to the city.

I once went shopping with my sister and we both found a scarf we liked, the same scarf.  So we both bought one.  We asked the price and there was a language barrier. We were sure if we were paying $20 or $200 but it didn't matter to us.  We wanted a scarf from Paris.  It wasn't until our credit card statements came in that we discovered we only paid 20 bucks (thank god).

There are a few things I like about Paris:

• The Louvre
• The Impressionist Museum
• wonderful food
• Long baguettes and blocks of cheese
• Croissants
• The Left Bank

But there are more things I don't like about the city:

• I don't like the new Pyramid structure at the Louvre.  The two architectural styles are in too much conflict for my taste.
• It's too expensive.
• Everyone drinks wine and it's hard to get a good beer.
• I've tried to speak with my limited French but the people made fun of my poor skills so I don't try anymore.
• I once asked a waiter if he spoke English.  He answered  "non" and asked in French if I spoke French.  I answered "no" and then he asked, "what do you want?" I went elsewhere to eat.

Undeveloped

Undeveloped

Carpenter's Point, MD

Summer 2016

I found these rolls of film, tucked away in a long lost memory box. Some of these rolls go back 12 years.  Why didn't I get them developed back then?  And why did I hold on to them?  And where can I get this filmed developed now? No one develops film anymore.  I hate when I hold on to junk.

I checked a few sites and it may cost me up to $20/roll or $200 to discover that I took photos of nothing worth remembering. I didn't want to pay this money so I posted on Facebook and posed the question: Should I get them developed?  I thought for sure everyone would say "NO" and then I could justify throwing them out.  But everyone (127 people) said I should go ahead and take the risk.  Now, no one offered to throw me any money for this discovery. But people generally thorough it was worth the cost to discover some moment in my past.

I don't think I am going to get them developed.

Mrs. Syminec

Mrs. Syminec

Philadelphia, PA

1962- 1995

The Syminec family lived down the street from us. And like so many families in our neighborhood, they had lots of kids, 13 to be exact. When my family moved to Overbrook, in 1962, Rosie, the youngest child, had recently been killed. She was hit by car right in front of the house. She was 4 at the time, playing in the front yard with several of her siblings. They have been left in charge of her but they weren’t paying enough attention to her.  Rosie slipped away from them and ran into the street, in between cars. The driver never saw her. When he hit her and killed her, he got out of the car, sat on the sidewalk and wept.

Mrs. Syminec came charging out of the house, filled with grief, disbelief, and bewilderment. As the ambulance took her daughter’s dead body away, Mrs. Syminec went over to the man crying on the sidewalk and consoled him. She forgave him. And she moved on to care for her 12 remaining children.

Four years later, Andy, her eighth-grade son, was out with friends at dusk, on a rainy Friday evening. They were on Route #1, a busy street and they were playing chicken-in-the-road. Andy slipped and the driver didn’t see him. Andy was killed instantly. And again, the entire community mourned with Mrs. Syminec. We felt guilty for having a tinge of anger towards Andy for being so foolish and putting his mother through yet another unbearable heartbreak.

I never saw much of Mrs. Syminec after this time. But she grabbed everybody’s attention yet again in 1995, when John, one of her younger children, now in adult, was in a car accident and died instantly. This was now the third child this woman buried due to car accidents.

I wonder how all this heart ache affected her. I wonder how she talked herself into getting up each day and moving on from so much sorrow. I wonder if she was filled with an abundance of “what-ifs”. I wonder if she ever met anybody who had more sorrow than she had. I can’t imagine having that much sorrow and whenever I think of Mrs. Samonek I am filled with sorrow.