Happy National Coming Out Day.

Happy National Coming Out Day.

A facebook Conversation with a Former Student

OCTOBER 11, 2020

I was the principal when Joel was in high school.

HER POST: I am a trans woman.

The path to this declaration has been very complicated for me, as it is for many trans-identified people. I’m 37 years old and I’m publicly putting forth those words for the first time, though it has been my lived reality for my entire life....

Later on, in middle school, I became the only out “gay” person I knew of. And as a consequence of the reception that I got, my once exuberant personality morphed into a shield of silence. My survival instinct kicked in and I retreated into my own head. My grades plummeted. No one at school talked to me. No one at church wanted me there. The few that did had no way of sharing my experience. So I was alone. In high school, my life became fairly turbulent, as I was undeniably queer in a strict Christian household and in a school system that was unprepared to protect me. I was verbally harassed daily, sent death threats, and physically attacked too many time to count.....

....In my senior year of high school, I met Ian, who has been my love and support for 20 years now. We built our relationship in relative secrecy for 6 of those years before I worked up the courage to come out for a second time and tell my parents about him. And tell them that we were leaving for California. I wasn’t hiding or apologizing anymore.

My response to Joel's post:  Joel, it was hard to read your post today. It broke my heart and I apologize for anything I did or didn't do to keep you safe in high school. 

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• Joel King

  Bridget E Kelly

   it certainly wasn’t my intention to make you feel badly. Things were very different 20 years ago than they are today. These kinds of conversations were not being had. Despite the resistance I faced, I was so grateful to have had the leadership of strong and brilliant women like you, 

  Chris Belton

  , 

  Amalfi Ramirez Finnerty

  , 

  Daphne Longo-Okcuoglu

  , Linda Ardao, and others. If anything, I’d like to remind you of what you DID do for me. You led by example and did your very best for me and all of your students. Thank you. 

  

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• Chris Belton

  Joel King

   thank you for persevering and staying true to yourself. Thank you for leaning on us each in turn - even as we stumbled and learned. Thank you for being an example of how to become your true self with grace, strength and dignity. 

  

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