Racially Myopic

Racially Myopic

University of Pennsylvania

Philadelphia PA

Spring 2000

I am attending the conference at the University of Pennsylvania. Like myself, everyone is an educational leader in the public schools around the Philadelphia area. I am standing at the registration desk being given conference materials, directions, and freebies. A woman hands me a conference T-shirt. I don’t want this T-shirt so I handed it back to her.

 “What?  You don’t want this T-shirt?” she asked with a bit of disbelief.

 “No I have enough T-shirts,” I tell her. And that is the truth. I have enough T-shirts to last me a lifetime.

“What about your grandbabies?”, she continues. “When they come over and spend the night, you could let them just sleep in one of these. You don’t have to wear this T-shirt. What about your grandbabies?”.

I’m taking aback by her statement about grandbabies for several reasons but mostly because I’m only 45 years old. I am way too young to be a grandmother. The thought of being a grandmother frightens me. I can’t figure out why she thinks I’m a grandma. Do I look that old? Do I carry myself like an old lady? Do I need to start dying my hair? Why the hell with this woman think that I am grandmother? Then it dawns on me; she is a grandma. She may have other friends her age who are grandmothers. I stand there for a minute and think about our differences. She is moved onto the next person who is happy to receive this T-shirt.

 “See” she says, this woman wants a T-shirt”.

 I tell her she is racially myopic.

 “Girl what you say?” she responded.

I laugh and tell her again, “you are racially myopic. You think everyone our age has grandchildren now. But the fact of the matter is educated, white women don’t start having babies until we are in our early 40s. That means my child would only be about five years old. And I won’t have grandbabies for another 30 to 35 years. So, see, I don’t need your damn T-shirt for my grandbabies”.

I laugh and so does she and so does everybody around us who hears our conversation. It is a moment that causes all of us to reflect on our own myopic views.