I Don’t Belong Anywhere
Wilmington, DE
July 2014
I am sitting on the back
porch with friends, enjoying their company, a beer, and a beautiful summer
evening. I am sitting with the men. The rest of the women are sitting at a
table beside us. I listen in on the men’s conversation. They’re talking about
football, baseball, soccer, basketball, golf, fantasy football, Giants vs the
Jets and all other things that hold absolutely no interest to me. There is
nothing that they are saying that causes me to want to jump into their
conversation. It’s almost as if they are speaking a language different from
mine. My attention drifts away from them and I lean over to the women’s table,
curious to hear what is their conversation.
They are talking about
cupcakes, lipstick, eyebrow tweezing, tan lines, fat hips, skinny hips, frizzy
hair on a summer day, how many calories per glass of wine, new Coach bags,
Bikini bathing suits and romance novels. I don’t ever talk about any of these
things. None of them are my issues. They never have been. And they never will.
I sigh to myself and lean back into my table conversation. The men are now talking
about a homerun from 2013 that was so spectacular “it will go down in history”.
And I think, "really, this is going to make history."
I sort of look back and
forth, contemplating what I should say to engage in these conversation with my
friends. My nephew is sitting at the end of the table and catches my dilemma.
He laughs and shouts over to me, “you’re pathetic. You don’t fit in anywhere. Neither
of these conversations interest you. You’ve nowhere to go”.
He’s right.
I don’t belong anywhere.
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