Thursday, May 5, 2016

The Duke and Duchess of Canterbury



The Duke and Duchess of Canterbury
Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania,
February 2016

We are staying at a plush resort, along the Indian Ocean. It’s just four friends for four days for fun, relaxation, alcohol, snorkeling, swimming, facials, massages, skinny dipping, lounging and any other activity that takes very little energy. This place is perfect.

The first night, there is a free cocktail hour for all of the guest.  We were so excited that we got there first, got the best seats and all the attention of the waiter.  Life is good.

As we were overindulging on out margarita and champagne and pinna coladas, a woman in her late 70’s introduced herself.  “I am Jennifer”, she politely tells us, “Not Jen or Jenny, I’m Jennifer.” She has beautiful snowy white hair and a beautiful English accent.

She joins our group as does her husband and the rest of the cocktail hour is filled with exchanges of polite conversations and goodwill.  At one point, we are told that dinner is now served so the English couple go off to their assigned table and we take out place at our table.

Later that evening, we talk about the couple.  “What were their names”, one of us asks.

“The wife is Jennifer”, one of us responded.

“Oh yea, not Jenny or Jen,”

“What about the guy?”

He didn’t tell us.”

“Their last name is Canterbury.  So you know he has to have a strong English name with that last name.”, I chime in.

“How do you know it is Canterbury?” Michelle asks.

“She told us, “I respond.

“I only heard the Jennifer part, Not Jenny or Jen,” Michelle retorts.

“What do you think his name is?”,  Siobhan asks us. 

With that, we decided to make a list of possible guesses: Nigel, Harold, William, Charles, Arthur, David, Alastair, Cameron, Albert, Andrew, Basil, Geoffrey, Mortimer, Reed, Kenneth

We decided we would confront him tomorrow to see if we had a winner. We see them early in the morning and they great us cordially and we bombard them, full force. 

“Hey, Mr. Canterbury, you never told us your name last night”., I blurt out before anyone has any opportunity to respond to their greeting. “But don’t tell us.  We have a list.  We tried to guess it last night.  Let’s see if we got it”. I pull a sheet of paper out of my pocket.

They are a little flabbergasted by us but they play along.  We go through the list and his name is David.  He wants to know who guessed it.  But I don’t really know because I didn’t write down who guessed what.  I just wrote down names as they were flung at me.

We then told them that we now refer to them as the Duke and Duchess of Canterbury.  They laughed but I think they liked the ring to this new title of theirs.

Thereafter, we ate most of our meals together.  Most of our conversations centered around questions David had for us. He would start each conversation with this opener: “Let me ask you one thing about your country?’

“Are you serious about Donald Trump? Do you think he has any chance of winning”

“Why do all of your addresses have four numbers.?”

“Do you think the old guy with the crazy hair has any chance of winning?’

“How much do you pay for healthcare?”

“Is it true that if I came to your country, I wouldn’t have healthcare coverage?”

“What about that Italian candidate?  Rubio? Does he have a chance?”

“Are you aware we took a vote to ban Trump from our country?  I thought it was a little ridiculous but it was a strong symbolic gesture, don’t you think?”

“Could I just come to your country and buy a gun?  Would that be a problem”?

And so we answered his questions, all of which reflected on how the world really views us.