Zeno's

ZENO’S

State College, PA

1974- today and forever

This is one of my favorite Penn State bars. Before I was 21, it was the easiest bar in State College to sneak into.  There were some windows at the entrance that were usually propped wide open. Several of us would cluster around the door and distract the bouncer and the rest of us just crawl right in through the open window. I guess the owner finally caught on to this trick because the window now has these big heavy bars on them and the entrance resembles the prison.

I spent hours at Zeno’s. The music is often too too loud. The place gets crowded. There are several tables and chairs but there’s usually standing room only on weekends. The bar attracts all sorts of people from derelicts to big bucks visiting alumni.

Zeno’s used to sponsor a contest for those who were intrinsically motivated to travel around the world: Around the World in 80 Beers. At that time, Zeno’s had the largest selection of imported beers. Contestants had to buy a Zeno’s passport and every time they drank a different imported beer, it was recorded on the passport. Once eighty different beers were consumed, the sedentary traveler completed the contest and his name was then engraved on a small plaque that still hangs on the wall. I think the record time for completing this journey was four days. It took me about three years space but I can’t drink the way I used to. And it was expensive.

The bartenders determine what music will be played. Often times they bring their own music. Music is always loud. It’s hard to have a conversation in here at times. Bob Dylan, Grateful Dead, the Rolling Stones, Neil Young, Talking Heads and various jazz artists blaring through the speakers. There’s a side room that has a pool table and some electronic games.

The bathrooms in my day were gross and dirty. There was never any toilet paper or towels. The toilet rarely function properly.  Graffiti was everywhere, in the sinks so you didn’t even want to wash your hands.  I think this is the bathroom with Sister Sebastian, my elementary principal and public health consultant, developed her hypothesis that one can, in a fact, contact venereal diseases by public toilets.

When I go back to Zeno’s, I feel like I’m going home.


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