Nearly
Drowning
Long Beach Island, NY
Summer, 1990
All my life, I loved playing in the ocean water. I wasn’t a swimmer so I never went out too
fall, just up to my shoulders, Just enough where I could stand, where the waves
broke and knocked me over. That was thrilling
and refreshing enough for me.
But, after 40 years of swimming here, on Long Beach
Island, every summer, I noticed the lifeguards one day. I hadn’t looked at them for years. Somehow
they had moved from my frame of reference as strong, well-built men, protectors
of the universe to now, scrawny, boney sixteen year old boys, flirting with
bikini cladded high school girls.
When had they become so young? Who could rely on these
children in an emergency? I remember looking at them and telling my sister, “they
couldn’t save a fly”.
The next day, two friends came to visit. They were strong swimmer and the air was hot
and we were in the ocean, having a great time when one friend commented that we
were out too far. She dove down and came
back up and said she couldn’t touch bottom.
That was the first time I realized that I was not standing on firm ground. I had let this get away from me. I felt a moment of panic. We looked back and
everyone was now so far away from us. I couldn’t believe how far out we were. So we turned and began to swim back. The current was powerful and much stronger
than me.
As my friends swam off, I treaded water and
tried to figure out how to get back to the shore. After a few minutes, one friend stopped,
turned around and surveyed my situation. “Hurry up”, she shouted, “it’s
dangerous out there. Stop fooling around”. I waved to her in duress but she interrupted
my actions as foolish. So I finally
broke down and shouted to her that I couldn’t swim. Maureen came back immediately
for me. But she wasn’t strong enough to
help me get in. Lynn stayed stationary
and called for help. She was standing at
the midpoint between the guards and me. Within moments, I could hear a whistle blowing.
I remember thinking that I did not want to be pulled in by
the lifeguards. So if I just relaxed,
and stopped fighting the current, I could probably drift back in the shore
line. I remember that moment when I
surrendered to the water. I completely
relaxed my body and sure enough the next wave pushed me in several feet. I gained a moment of confidence. I was
certain I would drift back in before the lifeguards got to me. But then the undercurrent surfaced and pushed
me several yards back. I was losing
ground. By now, the people on the
shoreline were getting smaller and smaller.
And I could no longer hear what Lynn was shouting to me. I was quickly drifting away.
Eventually, three lifeguards approached me. Maureen swam
off and I was left to these scrawny boys.
One guard put a harness on me. It
was attached to a rope which was attached to a harness that he put on. I made a comment. Posed a question, “where
should I grab you”? And he responded
with something inappropriate, something sexual. With a cocky tone, he told me,
“Don’t worry about touching me. I’m going to touch you all over.” And then he realized his statement had come
out wrong. And so he quickly
apologized. But now was not the time for
etiquette so I told me that I didn’t care where he touched me just as long as
he got me back to shore.
I was given a floatation device to hold on to. I was to kick in sync with him as he swam
back to shore. Two other lifeguards were
on either side of me, both on surf boards.
I guess they would only intervene in the event he couldn’t haul my big,
fat ass back to shore.
I don’t know how far we were out but it took a long time
to get back. The shoreline was now lined
with everyone on the beach. They watched
intently as our two specks emerged from the horizon and we took on life size again. I could feel their tension, their
anticipation.
When we were able to stand, the two lifeguards on the surf
boards floated away from us. My hero
unleashed me and told me to walk to the right. He was going to walk to the
left.
“Why?” I want to know.
“It will be less embarrassing for you.” He thoughtfully tells me.
Less embarrassing, I thought. That was not my emotion. I was grateful. I was alive.
I was safe. I told him that was
the least of my concerns. But as I was
thanking him, he did take off to the left and quickly melted away in to the
crowd. He left me with the dignity to
walk in on my own two feet.
So I walked straight to a clapping, cheering crowd. And I raised my hand and quelled the noise
and announced, “He’s alright. He’s safe” and then exited the water, pushing my
way through all the well-wishers.
